1
00:00:50,948 --> 00:00:54,876
- Stay wide. Stay wide.
- Audio. Wherefore art thou, audio?

2
00:00:54,976 --> 00:00:56,795
New York, sending bars and tone.

3
00:00:57,486 --> 00:01:00,548
- Dave, when is she gonna be here?
- When?

4
00:01:00,648 --> 00:01:04,261
- Don't look at me. I don't know.
- In our lifetime would be nice.

5
00:01:04,361 --> 00:01:08,556
This is Houston Control. I'd like an ETA
on the royal personage Dixie.

6
00:01:08,656 --> 00:01:12,727
- And what about Eddie?
- Eddie's been here since last Wednesday.

7
00:01:12,827 --> 00:01:14,938
Yeah, in make-up.

8
00:01:15,038 --> 00:01:17,107
- They're calling the kid.
- What kid?

9
00:01:17,207 --> 00:01:20,794
- Jeff, Stan's assistant. He's picking her up.
- Terrific.

10
00:01:36,810 --> 00:01:40,433
- Y'ello.
- Jeff, how you doing? How's she look?

11
00:01:41,981 --> 00:01:44,884
- I'll tell you in two minutes.
- You're not there yet?

12
00:01:44,984 --> 00:01:48,054
- Just pulling up.
- We have camera warm-up at six.

13
00:01:48,154 --> 00:01:51,433
I want her here at 4.30 sharp
and that doesn't mean 4.31.

14
00:01:51,533 --> 00:01:55,353
- No problem.
- This lady eats kids like you for breakfast.

15
00:01:55,453 --> 00:01:58,815
Stanley, relax. I got it covered.

16
00:01:58,915 --> 00:02:01,860
4,30 in make-up or it's your ass,

17
00:02:01,960 --> 00:02:05,049
All right. Mazel ciao, babe.

18
00:02:06,923 --> 00:02:10,344
Jesus Christ! Get that light off me!
You're gonna blind me!

19
00:02:16,850 --> 00:02:20,545
Excuse me. Miss Leonard's apartment?

20
00:02:20,645 --> 00:02:23,437
- Number 10 over there.
- Thanks.

21
00:02:32,490 --> 00:02:34,571
Miss Leonard.

22
00:02:42,542 --> 00:02:44,623
Miss Leonard.

23
00:02:55,221 --> 00:02:57,302
Hello?

24
00:03:19,663 --> 00:03:21,494
Miss Leonard?

25
00:03:32,217 --> 00:03:34,298
Miss Leonard.

26
00:04:14,175 --> 00:04:16,256
Who the hell are you?

27
00:04:17,470 --> 00:04:19,551
- Miss Leonard.
- Uh-uh.

28
00:04:21,766 --> 00:04:25,472
I'm Miss Leonard. You care to try again?

29
00:04:26,980 --> 00:04:29,090
Jeff Brooks.

30
00:04:29,190 --> 00:04:31,568
The awards dinner.

31
00:04:33,403 --> 00:04:35,931
You and Eddie Sparks.

32
00:04:36,031 --> 00:04:39,142
- I ain't going.
- Excuse me?

33
00:04:39,242 --> 00:04:42,145
- I ain't getting on a stage with Eddie Sparks.
- Why not?

34
00:04:42,245 --> 00:04:45,523
Because Eddie Sparks is
a goddamn son of a bitch, that's why.

35
00:04:45,623 --> 00:04:50,153
Miss Leonard, you're the guests of honour.
It's you and Eddie.

36
00:04:50,253 --> 00:04:52,796
You accepted six months ago.

37
00:04:53,798 --> 00:04:57,202
It's the President's Medal,
the president of the United States.

38
00:04:57,302 --> 00:05:01,831
- I never voted for him.
- They've got a live satellite feed.

39
00:05:01,931 --> 00:05:05,168
It's 50 million people.
I don't understand.

40
00:05:05,268 --> 00:05:09,130
Then let me explain it. Fuck
the 50 million people and fuck Eddie Sparks.

41
00:05:09,230 --> 00:05:12,735
- You wanna hear it in French?
- No.

42
00:05:13,651 --> 00:05:15,303
What's so funny?

43
00:05:15,403 --> 00:05:19,599
I was just thinking I can't wait to be old
so I can talk to people like that.

44
00:05:19,699 --> 00:05:22,978
- A clever one.
- Clever enough to fix this record player.

45
00:05:23,078 --> 00:05:24,312
Oh, yeah?

46
00:05:24,412 --> 00:05:30,752
My mother always said these hands
could mend anything but a broken heart.

47
00:05:31,461 --> 00:05:34,072
OK, genius. You got two minutes.

48
00:05:34,172 --> 00:05:38,410
But don't get too comfy, all right?
You're in on a pass.

49
00:05:38,510 --> 00:05:40,591
Yes, ma'am.

50
00:05:56,111 --> 00:06:00,694
It's none of my business,
but you think you oughta be smoking?

51
00:06:01,908 --> 00:06:04,784
Honey, I shouldn't even be breathing.

52
00:06:10,917 --> 00:06:12,297
Oh.

53
00:06:12,711 --> 00:06:14,792
That's the problem.

54
00:06:16,798 --> 00:06:19,424
There we go.

55
00:06:21,302 --> 00:06:24,998
- May I hear the record?
- I ain't going to that cockamamie dinner.

56
00:06:25,098 --> 00:06:27,511
So you can drop the charming act.

57
00:06:28,268 --> 00:06:30,349
Yes, ma'am.

58
00:06:32,355 --> 00:06:36,144
1942. The big one.
It was the war, right?

59
00:06:37,402 --> 00:06:41,618
Yeah, the war. Everybody's big break.

60
00:07:47,305 --> 00:07:51,376
Dixie, there's a shortage of acetate.
We're running out of blanks.

61
00:07:51,476 --> 00:07:56,172
I'm sorry. I just... I was just wondering
what was going on in there.

62
00:07:56,272 --> 00:07:59,611
There's a message for you, Dixie.

63
00:08:07,409 --> 00:08:09,769
- Dixie Leonard.
- Mrs Michael Leonard?

64
00:08:09,869 --> 00:08:11,646
Yes, sir.

65
00:08:11,746 --> 00:08:16,330
- War Department cable. Sign here, please.
- No, I can't. Milt, you...

66
00:08:23,299 --> 00:08:25,493
- Danny, come here.
- What's wrong, Mommy?

67
00:08:25,593 --> 00:08:28,538
- Please, honey, just come here.
- Come on, Dix, relax.

68
00:08:28,638 --> 00:08:30,749
- Let's not have a...
- What?

69
00:08:30,849 --> 00:08:32,930
You know.

70
00:08:35,562 --> 00:08:39,591
"To Dixie Leonard." Blah, blah, blah.
"From Headquarters Special Services,

71
00:08:39,691 --> 00:08:43,470
US Army, Windsor Court Hotel, London."

72
00:08:43,570 --> 00:08:49,726
"You're a poopsie. Have gone out on
enormous limb to convince Eddie Sparks

73
00:08:49,826 --> 00:08:54,356
you are ideal replacement for sick
June Davis for big Christmas tour."

74
00:08:54,456 --> 00:09:00,111
"Drop everything. Bring one sweater,
two pastrami sandwiches, all your charts."

75
00:09:00,211 --> 00:09:02,126
"Love, Uncle Art."

76
00:09:03,423 --> 00:09:06,284
- You're fooling?
- I'm jealous!

77
00:09:06,384 --> 00:09:10,622
- Is it from Daddy?
- No, it's from Uncle Art. Daddy's fine.

78
00:09:10,722 --> 00:09:13,667
- He's fine. Go play.
- Is Uncle Art your fairy godfather?

79
00:09:13,767 --> 00:09:19,381
No. Art Silver, Eddie Sparks' head writer.
I knew they were over there but...

80
00:09:19,481 --> 00:09:23,176
Eddie Sparks, he's so cute.
I got such a thing for him.

81
00:09:23,276 --> 00:09:26,179
- Get in line, honey.
- From what I hear, you have to.

82
00:09:26,279 --> 00:09:32,519
So I leave everything and run over to London
just because Eddie crooks his little finger?

83
00:09:34,329 --> 00:09:37,274
You gonna turn down
a USO tour with Eddie Sparks?

84
00:09:37,374 --> 00:09:39,442
That's a career maker.

85
00:09:39,542 --> 00:09:44,781
Danny, how'd you like to come and spend
a few weeks with your Aunt Corrine?

86
00:09:44,881 --> 00:09:48,827
Do you know how much I love you?
How much?

87
00:09:48,927 --> 00:09:51,849
- How big?
- Bigger than the sky.

88
00:09:53,973 --> 00:09:57,410
You're a guest here,
so you have to pick up after yourself

89
00:09:57,510 --> 00:10:02,007
and you have to eat all your vegetables or
Santa Claus isn't going to give you one thing.

90
00:10:02,107 --> 00:10:04,188
Do you understand?

91
00:10:05,235 --> 00:10:07,945
Are you gonna bring Daddy back?

92
00:10:08,947 --> 00:10:13,184
Well, Daddy's doing such a great job
fighting the bad guys over there,

93
00:10:13,284 --> 00:10:15,395
they need him for a little longer.

94
00:10:15,495 --> 00:10:20,150
You mean when he kills all the Germans,
then he can come home?

95
00:10:20,250 --> 00:10:23,143
Absolutely the same day.

96
00:10:24,671 --> 00:10:26,489
- Sing me.
- Which one?

97
00:10:26,589 --> 00:10:28,670
You know.

98
00:10:31,469 --> 00:10:34,226
<i>There's a place</i>

99
00:10:38,893 --> 00:10:41,588
<i>Way up high</i>

100
00:10:41,688 --> 00:10:46,734
<i>Starry bright there
through the night there</i>

101
00:10:47,235 --> 00:10:50,055
<i>Close your eyes</i>

102
00:10:50,155 --> 00:10:52,974
<i>Let your wishes fly</i>

103
00:10:53,074 --> 00:10:59,356
<i>You'll be in dreamland by and by</i>

104
00:11:02,834 --> 00:11:04,915
They're here.

105
00:11:35,825 --> 00:11:38,119
Eddie! Eddie!

106
00:12:04,646 --> 00:12:06,298
- Let's go.
- Now, Mr Sparks?

107
00:12:06,398 --> 00:12:09,593
No, next Tuesday.
There's gonna be a major riot here.

108
00:12:09,693 --> 00:12:14,556
- We're going in one minute.
- She's late. I told you we shouldn't wait.

109
00:12:14,656 --> 00:12:17,726
Eddie, I didn't make the fog.

110
00:12:17,826 --> 00:12:21,104
Girl singers. God save me
from girl singers.

111
00:12:21,204 --> 00:12:24,232
- Art says she's dynamite.
- Art says?

112
00:12:24,332 --> 00:12:28,361
Art's her goddamn uncle.
What do you expect?

113
00:12:28,461 --> 00:12:31,301
- Where is Art?
- I'll find him.

114
00:13:01,828 --> 00:13:04,834
Dixie! Dixie!

115
00:13:07,500 --> 00:13:09,903
I made it! Hi!

116
00:13:10,003 --> 00:13:13,531
- Oh, God!
- I'm so glad to see you.

117
00:13:13,631 --> 00:13:19,746
- Let me look at you. You look beautiful.
- I didn't think I'd ever get over. Here, here.

118
00:13:19,846 --> 00:13:23,220
- You remembered. Pastrami, you angel.
- I'm beat.

119
00:13:24,059 --> 00:13:26,962
Eddie, I almost forgot.
Art says to open with this.

120
00:13:27,062 --> 00:13:30,882
- Does he?
- The entire bomb group got back. No losses.

121
00:13:30,982 --> 00:13:33,885
- Who do you wanna see?
- Eddie!

122
00:13:33,985 --> 00:13:36,695
- What's his name?
- Eddie!

123
00:13:37,489 --> 00:13:40,475
- Speak up. I can't hear you. Who?
- Eddie!

124
00:13:40,575 --> 00:13:42,822
Oh, him. The cute one.

125
00:13:47,123 --> 00:13:51,043
You requested him.
Now here he is. Eddie Sparks!

126
00:14:17,737 --> 00:14:22,309
The band play on, Eddie does his monologue,
ha-ha-ha-ha, then he intros Vicki.

127
00:14:22,409 --> 00:14:25,687
- Who's Vicki?
- Dancer, friend of Eddie's, hubba hubba.

128
00:14:25,787 --> 00:14:30,199
Got the picture?
Then Eddie out, intro Dixie.

129
00:14:30,215 --> 00:14:33,403
- Wow. What the heck's that?
- They must have started.

130
00:14:33,503 --> 00:14:37,532
I just got a couple of scores
for you guys here.

131
00:14:37,632 --> 00:14:39,926
Chicago 14, Philadelphia 3.

132
00:14:47,600 --> 00:14:51,686
898th Bomb Group 21...

133
00:14:52,313 --> 00:14:54,276
Germans nothing.

134
00:15:01,531 --> 00:15:05,852
- It sounds like the Army-Navy game.
- You'll get used to it. Try and learn this.

135
00:15:05,952 --> 00:15:08,730
- It's a comedy spot. You and Eddie.
- What?

136
00:15:08,830 --> 00:15:12,150
- Nothing to it.
- I can't do a comedy spot.

137
00:15:12,250 --> 00:15:15,320
It's OK. It'll all be on cards.

138
00:15:15,420 --> 00:15:19,366
Funnies with the girl singer.
It's Eddie's trademark. They expect it.

139
00:15:19,466 --> 00:15:22,494
- What are you gonna sing?
- "Stuff Like That There."

140
00:15:22,594 --> 00:15:26,122
- Is it up?
- It's up. It's bouncy.

141
00:15:26,222 --> 00:15:33,088
Comedy spot, you and Eddie, ha-ha-ha-ha,
then "Stuff Like That There", then applause,

142
00:15:33,188 --> 00:15:37,801
Wally and the band,
then wrap up Eddie, bye-bye.

143
00:15:37,901 --> 00:15:43,765
- So when do we rehearse all this?
- Rehearse? Dixie, this is it.

144
00:15:51,331 --> 00:15:55,110
- Hello, Dixie. Sam Schiff, Eddie's producer.
- Hi.

145
00:15:55,210 --> 00:16:00,240
- He's really excited about your being here.
- That's wonderful. Anything for Eddie.

146
00:16:00,340 --> 00:16:03,785
- Sounds good.
- He could run for prime minister. I'm serious.

147
00:16:03,885 --> 00:16:06,621
- Why not king?
- I was thinking Führer,

148
00:16:06,721 --> 00:16:08,415
I'll see you later.

149
00:16:08,515 --> 00:16:10,792
This bundle of joy is Loretta,

150
00:16:10,892 --> 00:16:14,170
Eddie's other writer,
our wardrobe mistress and my love slave.

151
00:16:14,270 --> 00:16:20,010
Dream on. Hi, Dixie. I'm Loretta.
Nice to meet you. Easy. How you feeling?

152
00:16:20,110 --> 00:16:22,846
Like the Ringling Brothers
were camping in my mouth.

153
00:16:22,946 --> 00:16:27,058
Thank God... a live one. You go on after Little
Bo Peep. Why don't we get you dressed?

154
00:16:27,158 --> 00:16:29,701
Song! Song! Song!

155
00:16:30,412 --> 00:16:35,025
- "Stuff Like That There." Go, go, go.
- Corporal. Band person.

156
00:16:35,125 --> 00:16:38,570
D flat, not E flat. He didn't hear me.

157
00:16:38,670 --> 00:16:40,947
I've been up two days.
How do I sing an E flat?

158
00:16:41,047 --> 00:16:44,659
You could sing in L, they'll love it.
What's the matter? You OK?

159
00:16:44,759 --> 00:16:47,884
I'm fine, I'm fine. England, right?

160
00:16:54,144 --> 00:16:56,504
All right, enough of this.

161
00:16:56,604 --> 00:17:00,773
Now, guys, a little girl
who can make grown men cry...

162
00:17:05,655 --> 00:17:08,350
Our own little bit of lend-lease,

163
00:17:08,450 --> 00:17:10,862
the amazing Miss Victoria Lee.

164
00:17:20,420 --> 00:17:21,884
Hi, boys.

165
00:17:47,197 --> 00:17:49,266
Great.

166
00:17:49,366 --> 00:17:53,700
Sensational. Sensational.
She's here. She's getting dressed.

167
00:18:14,307 --> 00:18:17,502
- Loretta, my hair.
- You look great.

168
00:18:17,602 --> 00:18:20,394
Let's go over these lines again.

169
00:18:22,524 --> 00:18:24,593
- That's him.
- That's him.

170
00:18:24,693 --> 00:18:26,774
He's coming over here.

171
00:18:28,780 --> 00:18:30,223
- Hello. Dixie?
- Yes.

172
00:18:30,323 --> 00:18:35,270
- Hi, I'm Eddie Sparks.
- I can't believe I'm seeing you in person.

173
00:18:35,370 --> 00:18:38,231
They love you so much.
Gosh, you're amazing.

174
00:18:38,331 --> 00:18:40,525
- Just a kid from the Bronx.
- Imagine.

175
00:18:40,625 --> 00:18:43,236
So what are you gonna sing, sweetheart?

176
00:18:43,336 --> 00:18:46,489
- "Stuff Like That There."
- Like...

177
00:18:46,589 --> 00:18:50,243
- I don't know that.
- It's an up song. It's bouncy.

178
00:18:50,343 --> 00:18:54,456
Bouncy's good. So did you ever sing
in front of a real band?

179
00:18:54,556 --> 00:18:57,417
- Did you ever hear of Tommy Dorsey?
- Dorsey? Of course.

180
00:18:57,517 --> 00:19:00,013
Me too. Great band, huh?

181
00:19:01,479 --> 00:19:04,966
That's a joke. Actually,
he did ask me to tour with him once,

182
00:19:05,066 --> 00:19:09,930
but I have a little boy and my husband
is a combat photographer in North Africa...

183
00:19:10,030 --> 00:19:13,558
Are we really gonna do a comedy routine?

184
00:19:13,658 --> 00:19:18,021
Piece of cake. Just read the cue cards and
when in trouble you throw it back to papa.

185
00:19:18,121 --> 00:19:20,000
Yes, sir.

186
00:19:22,125 --> 00:19:24,123
Boy.

187
00:19:28,173 --> 00:19:30,700
That is quite a dress.

188
00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:33,925
Well, this is me in my dress.

189
00:19:34,637 --> 00:19:37,707
- You're gonna be sensational.
- Thank you.

190
00:19:37,807 --> 00:19:40,220
Sam.

191
00:19:41,811 --> 00:19:44,506
- Get me a backup.
- What's up? She looked nervous.

192
00:19:44,606 --> 00:19:47,926
- Nervous? She was like a horse on fire.
- Well?

193
00:19:48,026 --> 00:19:50,107
She's no Greta Garbo.

194
00:19:51,363 --> 00:19:55,141
Sam, could you give us a minute, please?

195
00:19:55,241 --> 00:19:58,687
- Eddie, Steel Pier, Atlantic City, 1931.
- Don't start.

196
00:19:58,787 --> 00:20:01,481
You were wearing the check suit.
I said lose it.

197
00:20:01,581 --> 00:20:07,237
You were doing I don't know what. I said
"We're gonna write you..." Look at me.

198
00:20:07,337 --> 00:20:09,864
Who am I? Come on, Eddie.

199
00:20:09,964 --> 00:20:15,537
The writer. Why do they call them writers?
Cos they're right, right?

200
00:20:15,637 --> 00:20:18,832
You're a smug bastard.
I should have dumped you years ago.

201
00:20:18,932 --> 00:20:22,419
- You still got the check suit?
- Fuck you and your cousin.

202
00:20:22,519 --> 00:20:27,399
Niece. And she's gonna go all the way,
with or without us.

203
00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:30,896
- Damn. Look at this.
- What?

204
00:20:53,550 --> 00:20:58,217
- I think I'm gonna puke.
- No. A couple of deep breaths.

205
00:20:59,556 --> 00:21:01,875
- What is it, butterflies?
- Elephants.

206
00:21:01,975 --> 00:21:04,056
Here, take the edge off.

207
00:21:06,104 --> 00:21:08,185
Better?

208
00:21:09,983 --> 00:21:11,968
- What is that?
- Nazi tank fuel.

209
00:21:12,068 --> 00:21:15,805
Grows hair all over your pinamunda.
I know, I need some rest.

210
00:21:15,905 --> 00:21:19,601
- OK, take a look.
- Oh, Loretta.

211
00:21:19,701 --> 00:21:23,271
- I look human. Thank you. You're a genius.
- You're on next.

212
00:21:23,371 --> 00:21:27,567
- What, now? Oh, God.
- Honey, it's a bunch of horny guys.

213
00:21:27,667 --> 00:21:30,695
- How you gonna lose?
- In that case, let me at 'em.

214
00:22:43,952 --> 00:22:46,313
- Maybe we can pin it.
- It's too far gone.

215
00:22:46,413 --> 00:22:49,274
You're on next. Holy Moses!
What happened?

216
00:22:49,374 --> 00:22:52,444
They're gonna take me outside
and shoot me like a deserter.

217
00:22:52,544 --> 00:22:54,988
Larry! Stretch.

218
00:22:55,088 --> 00:22:59,034
Someone who just flew
over from the States to be with us.

219
00:22:59,134 --> 00:23:03,413
Let's give her a big welcome.
A great, great singer.

220
00:23:03,513 --> 00:23:05,427
Miss Dixie Leonard!

221
00:23:17,610 --> 00:23:19,262
- Guess what.
- What?

222
00:23:19,362 --> 00:23:21,681
She's not ready.

223
00:23:21,781 --> 00:23:23,862
Isn't that like a dame?

224
00:23:25,744 --> 00:23:32,484
If you guys took this long getting dressed,
we'd all be speaking German by now.

225
00:23:32,584 --> 00:23:36,571
- Don't you have another dress?
- Don't you wanna try and help?

226
00:23:36,671 --> 00:23:38,365
- Captain?
- Who, me?

227
00:23:38,465 --> 00:23:41,839
- Yeah, you. Hi.
- Hello.

228
00:23:43,970 --> 00:23:45,767
Hello.

229
00:23:46,473 --> 00:23:51,461
You know, there is one piece of
women's apparel I don't quite understand.

230
00:23:51,561 --> 00:23:54,256
The one with the straps,
the buttons, the hooks.

231
00:23:54,356 --> 00:23:58,358
- It's a brassiere!
- It's harder to get off than a parachute.

232
00:23:59,694 --> 00:24:01,443
That's why I always offer to help.

233
00:24:18,672 --> 00:24:20,420
Well, hi.

234
00:24:22,676 --> 00:24:24,757
Hello.

235
00:24:25,512 --> 00:24:28,540
Thought you'd never get here.

236
00:24:28,640 --> 00:24:33,420
So sorry. Little trouble over
the Channel, you know, old pip.

237
00:24:33,520 --> 00:24:36,360
Really?

238
00:24:40,360 --> 00:24:47,079
Righto. We were halfway to Belgium when
we ran out of "gas", I believe you call it.

239
00:24:51,371 --> 00:24:56,453
That's funny. You don't look like
you'd ever run out of gas.

240
00:24:59,796 --> 00:25:04,200
Are you trying to get
into my flak suit, honey?

241
00:25:04,300 --> 00:25:07,223
I'm just trying to debrief you.

242
00:25:18,356 --> 00:25:22,940
So, a plane without any gas.
What did you do?

243
00:25:26,489 --> 00:25:28,475
Do?

244
00:25:28,575 --> 00:25:32,957
Yeah, do.
To keep up morale and all that.

245
00:25:40,837 --> 00:25:44,908
Well, my copilot, lovely young boy

246
00:25:45,008 --> 00:25:48,828
but terrified half out of his wits,
you know, nervous, terrified.

247
00:25:48,928 --> 00:25:51,498
I said to him

248
00:25:51,598 --> 00:25:58,088
"This one's going to take
a long, hard, pull."

249
00:26:12,202 --> 00:26:14,283
So I did!

250
00:26:17,582 --> 00:26:19,995
For two hours.

251
00:26:31,888 --> 00:26:36,668
Two hours alone with you...
that boy deserves a Purple Heart.

252
00:26:36,768 --> 00:26:41,768
It was purple all right,
but I don't think it was his heart.

253
00:26:51,491 --> 00:26:57,898
I think I've gotta take a cold shower now.
How about a song before we all get arrested?

254
00:26:57,998 --> 00:26:59,858
I'd love to.

255
00:26:59,958 --> 00:27:03,987
Here she is, direct from the convent,

256
00:27:04,087 --> 00:27:07,093
the wonderful Miss Dixie Leonard.

257
00:27:11,594 --> 00:27:16,060
I want her and her mouth
on the next plane outta here.

258
00:29:05,959 --> 00:29:08,486
All right, OK, all right, all right.

259
00:29:08,586 --> 00:29:11,865
So are we being attacked?
I always like to know these things.

260
00:29:13,091 --> 00:29:17,537
- We lost power. Give us a minute or two.
- Why you gotta yell?

261
00:29:17,637 --> 00:29:22,042
Well, alone in the dark
with thousands of men.

262
00:29:27,147 --> 00:29:30,271
There is a god after all.

263
00:29:31,109 --> 00:29:34,483
- Come on, sweetheart. Sing!
- Yeah!

264
00:29:37,866 --> 00:29:43,494
There's only one thing I like to do
in the dark, honey, and it ain't sing.

265
00:29:50,962 --> 00:29:52,960
Oh, my.

266
00:30:02,349 --> 00:30:05,354
Well, if you feel that way about it.

267
00:30:06,978 --> 00:30:09,059
"PS I Love You" in A.

268
00:32:56,022 --> 00:33:00,155
- Is that for me or the guy on the generator?
- You!

269
00:33:03,571 --> 00:33:07,111
I love you. I had the best time.
Thank you.

270
00:34:12,182 --> 00:34:14,042
It was... It was...

271
00:34:14,142 --> 00:34:16,223
Mr Sparks.

272
00:34:16,853 --> 00:34:21,675
- Is there something wrong?
- Yeah, honey. You. You're wrong.

273
00:34:21,775 --> 00:34:24,344
You got a toilet for a mouth.
I don't appreciate it.

274
00:34:24,444 --> 00:34:27,472
A lot of these boys are gonna die
and you wanna send them off

275
00:34:27,572 --> 00:34:30,183
with a bunch of cheap-ass
dick jokes, is that it?

276
00:34:30,283 --> 00:34:32,978
- No, sir. I just thought...
- You thought?

277
00:34:33,078 --> 00:34:36,147
If you haven't got the class,
you oughta have the brains.

278
00:34:36,247 --> 00:34:38,149
- OK, Eddie, enough.
- What?

279
00:34:38,249 --> 00:34:42,571
- You made your point.
- There are a lot of writers without nieces.

280
00:34:42,671 --> 00:34:44,752
Eddie.

281
00:35:06,820 --> 00:35:10,599
How about that?
The fabulous Dixie Leonard.

282
00:35:10,699 --> 00:35:12,862
Really nice work, Dixie.

283
00:35:14,953 --> 00:35:18,908
How about a hand
for the very lovely Vicki Lee?

284
00:35:20,709 --> 00:35:26,966
Not to mention my number one man,
Wally Fields and the boys.

285
00:35:29,426 --> 00:35:33,724
Well, that's our show.
I hope you liked it.

286
00:36:06,212 --> 00:36:08,293
You.

287
00:36:26,232 --> 00:36:30,401
- No autographs, fellas.
- Sam, it's all right.

288
00:36:31,279 --> 00:36:33,360
Just a few.

289
00:36:35,408 --> 00:36:39,396
Eddie, that new stuff I put in tonight,
did you like it?

290
00:36:39,496 --> 00:36:41,992
Not now, honey. That's it.

291
00:36:43,833 --> 00:36:46,903
I don't need this.
I've been working in clubs since I'm 16.

292
00:36:47,003 --> 00:36:50,907
Dixie, when I first started with Eddie,
he fired me every day for a week.

293
00:36:51,007 --> 00:36:55,870
- It's a squall. It passes over.
- He's a racehorse. It's a different set of rules.

294
00:36:55,970 --> 00:36:58,707
He knows what happened out there.
He's no fool.

295
00:36:58,807 --> 00:37:03,086
- He's an evil, sadistic son of a bitch.
- He happens to be right about the dick jokes.

296
00:37:03,186 --> 00:37:06,089
He kept setting me up.
What did he expect?

297
00:37:06,189 --> 00:37:10,135
Come on, Dixie.
You panicked and went for the crotch.

298
00:37:10,235 --> 00:37:12,304
We get to the hotel and you apologise.

299
00:37:12,404 --> 00:37:16,308
What did I do? I got a few laughs,
I brought down the house, I topped him.

300
00:37:16,408 --> 00:37:19,811
- You're supposed to.
- We're gonna build the act around that.

301
00:37:19,911 --> 00:37:23,607
- What are you talking about? There's no act.
- No act, huh?

302
00:37:23,707 --> 00:37:26,416
You two are gonna be an industry.

303
00:37:46,563 --> 00:37:49,591
- She sings pretty good. She does funny.
- Yeah.

304
00:37:49,691 --> 00:37:51,772
- Funny is money.
- Yeah.

305
00:37:52,861 --> 00:37:57,807
- Welcome to jolly old life as usual.
- Come on, Wally, let's go get stupid.

306
00:37:57,907 --> 00:38:02,896
- Dixie, honey, I wanna buy you a drink.
- Go with them. I'll be with you in a minute.

307
00:38:02,996 --> 00:38:07,248
We'll be under the bar.
Wake us for the armistice.

308
00:38:10,587 --> 00:38:15,882
Hello, Reg. That's the Dixie Leonard
I was telling you about.

309
00:38:36,029 --> 00:38:38,110
Listen, Eddie.

310
00:38:39,866 --> 00:38:45,105
Me and Dixie just had a long talk.
She feels terrible about what happened.

311
00:38:45,205 --> 00:38:49,457
I think we should just
clean the slate and start over.

312
00:38:51,086 --> 00:38:53,167
Why?

313
00:38:55,799 --> 00:38:57,909
Did you tell him?

314
00:38:58,009 --> 00:39:00,505
- You tell him.
- Tell me what?

315
00:39:01,930 --> 00:39:04,916
The two of you are gonna be bigger
than Burns and Allen.

316
00:39:05,016 --> 00:39:09,600
Bigger than Hope and Crosby.
Bigger than all of 'em.

317
00:39:16,152 --> 00:39:21,391
I got all these advisors. Who's the guy that
goes out and gets the laughs every night?

318
00:39:21,491 --> 00:39:24,060
It's you, Eddie. You are the one.

319
00:39:24,160 --> 00:39:26,980
And that's why
I'm gonna go bring her over.

320
00:39:27,080 --> 00:39:29,941
I wish you wouldn't do that.

321
00:39:30,041 --> 00:39:32,122
Want some aspirin?

322
00:39:38,299 --> 00:39:41,202
- Come on.
- No, I don't think so.

323
00:39:41,302 --> 00:39:45,832
He feels terrible about what happened.
He just needs you to break the ice.

324
00:39:45,932 --> 00:39:48,084
- Go on, Dixie.
- Go ahead.

325
00:39:48,184 --> 00:39:50,680
He's disconsolate. Come on.

326
00:39:54,524 --> 00:39:57,844
What would I have to give you
for one little kiss?

327
00:39:57,944 --> 00:40:00,025
Chloroform.

328
00:40:03,700 --> 00:40:06,955
Eddie, you remember Dixie Leonard.

329
00:40:07,787 --> 00:40:10,330
Yeah, I remember. So...

330
00:40:10,832 --> 00:40:12,913
So...

331
00:40:13,835 --> 00:40:16,129
You have something to say?

332
00:40:17,589 --> 00:40:21,757
Yeah. I don't like
the way you talk to my uncle.

333
00:40:22,886 --> 00:40:24,955
What is your problem, lady?

334
00:40:25,055 --> 00:40:29,209
My problem, Eddie,
is you can't walk all over people.

335
00:40:29,309 --> 00:40:31,670
It makes a bad impression.

336
00:40:31,770 --> 00:40:36,383
- I guess that's what's held me back.
- That's what's held you back as a person.

337
00:40:36,483 --> 00:40:39,427
Oh, God. Right through the heart.

338
00:40:39,527 --> 00:40:41,608
I mean, if I had one.

339
00:40:42,489 --> 00:40:46,184
That's enough. Sit down,
have a drink, for Christ's sakes.

340
00:40:46,284 --> 00:40:49,646
No, I'm gonna get some sleep.
I'm sorry it didn't work out.

341
00:40:49,746 --> 00:40:51,827
Dixie.

342
00:40:55,669 --> 00:40:59,339
I give up. What do I have to do?

343
00:41:01,341 --> 00:41:04,347
You could try saying you're sorry.

344
00:41:14,354 --> 00:41:17,276
Apologise. Go fix it.

345
00:41:24,155 --> 00:41:25,820
Let us pray.

346
00:41:26,616 --> 00:41:31,563
- Two-bit Napoleon. I bet you he wears lifts.
- You can't take him personally.

347
00:41:31,663 --> 00:41:35,831
- Him and Hitler have the same agent.
- Good line.

348
00:41:37,794 --> 00:41:41,133
- He's just like all the rest of them.
- Give us a song, Eddie.

349
00:42:41,066 --> 00:42:43,147
I apologise.

350
00:42:45,445 --> 00:42:50,326
- Just relax and follow my lead.
- Yeah, right off a cliff.

351
00:43:00,085 --> 00:43:02,571
You just let me teach you
and nothing'll stop us.

352
00:43:02,671 --> 00:43:08,243
We'll be bigger than Burns and Allen,
bigger than Hope and Crosby.

353
00:43:08,343 --> 00:43:11,265
We'll be bigger than all of them.

354
00:43:13,640 --> 00:43:15,684
OK.

355
00:43:21,147 --> 00:43:24,134
- Oh, my God. What's that?
- It's an air raid.

356
00:43:24,234 --> 00:43:28,555
- What do we do?
- Do? Nothing can happen to you.

357
00:43:28,655 --> 00:43:30,949
You're with Eddie Sparks.

358
00:43:43,420 --> 00:43:45,989
And he was right,

359
00:43:46,089 --> 00:43:50,388
You could feel it, He was invincible,

360
00:43:51,720 --> 00:43:55,999
Nothing could happen to you
if you were with Eddie Sparks.

361
00:43:56,099 --> 00:43:58,180
He just had magic.

362
00:44:00,311 --> 00:44:03,899
And how they loved him, those boys.

363
00:44:05,900 --> 00:44:08,511
Airfields,

364
00:44:08,611 --> 00:44:10,692
camps,

365
00:44:11,823 --> 00:44:13,287
hospitals.

366
00:44:14,242 --> 00:44:16,121
He was something.

367
00:44:17,620 --> 00:44:19,701
Generous...

368
00:44:20,332 --> 00:44:22,413
stingy...

369
00:44:24,002 --> 00:44:25,631
infuriating...

370
00:44:27,130 --> 00:44:29,211
brilliant.

371
00:44:31,384 --> 00:44:35,932
A world-class,
solid-gold son of a bitch.

372
00:44:44,314 --> 00:44:46,758
Liked the ladies, did he?

373
00:44:46,858 --> 00:44:51,471
He screwed everything that moved,
between Portsmouth and Yokohama.

374
00:44:51,571 --> 00:44:52,607
Really?

375
00:44:54,616 --> 00:44:57,310
No, honey, not me.

376
00:44:57,410 --> 00:44:59,396
I was married.

377
00:44:59,496 --> 00:45:04,234
Back then you... you didn't do it
with someone else if you were married.

378
00:45:04,334 --> 00:45:07,423
Yeah, I think I read
something about that.

379
00:45:12,217 --> 00:45:15,258
Who was he? Your husband.

380
00:45:21,434 --> 00:45:22,898
Michael.

381
00:45:29,025 --> 00:45:32,325
Five, six, seven, eight...

382
00:45:34,781 --> 00:45:36,862
- And duck.
- Oh, gosh.

383
00:45:39,577 --> 00:45:43,148
- Am I too far?
- Algeria's better than Palm Beach.

384
00:45:43,248 --> 00:45:45,942
You get a better class
of scorpion in your tent.

385
00:45:46,042 --> 00:45:48,538
I was nowhere near your tent.

386
00:45:50,213 --> 00:45:53,491
- How about that desert sun, Dix?
- What's the line?

387
00:45:53,591 --> 00:45:55,827
- My sunburn got a sunburn.
- I hate that.

388
00:45:55,927 --> 00:45:58,496
Would you mind awfully
if I worked on it with Art?

389
00:45:58,596 --> 00:46:02,267
- Not awfully.
- Eddie. Eddie.

390
00:46:02,851 --> 00:46:04,932
Why don't we take five?

391
00:46:07,063 --> 00:46:13,720
The sun was so hot that I saw a Nazi pilot
putting nose cream on his Messerschmitt.

392
00:46:13,820 --> 00:46:15,430
- They found him.
- Great.

393
00:46:15,530 --> 00:46:19,726
Sergeant Michael Leonard,
combat photographer, attached to 3rd Army.

394
00:46:19,826 --> 00:46:21,937
- That's him.
- Had to pull some strings.

395
00:46:22,037 --> 00:46:26,066
- He'll be here at 1630 hours.
- What does he know?

396
00:46:26,166 --> 00:46:30,612
- Just to show up.
- I tell you what, I owe you one, pal.

397
00:46:30,712 --> 00:46:32,572
Wait, wait, wait.

398
00:46:32,672 --> 00:46:34,991
Here you go.

399
00:46:35,091 --> 00:46:36,493
Thank you.

400
00:46:36,593 --> 00:46:40,497
I'd like to introduce you to the only
two-star bachelor in North Africa.

401
00:46:40,597 --> 00:46:43,333
- And a very big fan of yours.
- Hi.

402
00:46:43,433 --> 00:46:45,585
Indeed, ma'am. Indeed.

403
00:46:45,685 --> 00:46:49,422
Did you ever see the inside
of a general's command tent?

404
00:46:49,522 --> 00:46:53,821
- No. Am I gonna?
- She's such a kidder. Go on.

405
00:46:55,028 --> 00:46:58,598
So tell me, General,
how did you get all those stars?

406
00:46:58,698 --> 00:47:01,490
Well, you gotta earn 'em, honey.

407
00:47:04,663 --> 00:47:07,482
Wait. You only got two cameras?

408
00:47:07,582 --> 00:47:11,486
I got two cameras on the platform.
I got a handheld over here.

409
00:47:11,586 --> 00:47:14,114
- Listen...
- What's the matter with you?

410
00:47:14,214 --> 00:47:16,908
Why don't we tell her?

411
00:47:17,008 --> 00:47:19,661
Are you nuts?
I want those first reactions on film.

412
00:47:19,761 --> 00:47:21,871
The real thing, no acting.

413
00:47:21,971 --> 00:47:26,042
She sees him, he sees her,
they run, they embrace, they kiss.

414
00:47:26,142 --> 00:47:28,336
You gotta be kidding me.
That's dynamite.

415
00:47:28,436 --> 00:47:33,649
It's a million dollars' worth
of publicity, Sam. A million. Please.

416
00:47:38,613 --> 00:47:40,098
Code three.

417
00:47:40,198 --> 00:47:42,350
Algeria's a better place
than Palm Beach.

418
00:47:42,450 --> 00:47:46,156
You get a much better class
of scorpion in your shorts.

419
00:48:02,595 --> 00:48:06,207
- How about that desert sun, Dix?
- It's just terrible,

420
00:48:06,307 --> 00:48:12,565
The other day I saw a Nazi pilot
putting nose cream on his Messerschmitt,

421
00:48:13,606 --> 00:48:15,687
Dixie?

422
00:48:16,735 --> 00:48:18,178
He's on his way down.

423
00:48:18,278 --> 00:48:23,558
It's a pleasure working with someone
who can make General Patton blush.

424
00:48:23,658 --> 00:48:27,187
- Sergeant Leonard, Sam Schiff.
- That's my wife.

425
00:48:27,287 --> 00:48:30,315
Eddie Sparks'... producer.

426
00:48:30,415 --> 00:48:34,797
- Code three, code three.
- OK, fellas. Code three.

427
00:48:58,818 --> 00:49:02,572
Dixie, it's me! Michael!

428
00:49:03,239 --> 00:49:05,617
Dixie, it's Michael!

429
00:49:06,242 --> 00:49:10,021
It's me! It's me, Michael!

430
00:49:10,121 --> 00:49:15,251
- Oh, my God. My God, it's Michael.
- Merry Christmas.

431
00:49:17,921 --> 00:49:21,533
Ladies and gentlemen,
we have a little surprise.

432
00:49:21,633 --> 00:49:27,163
A certain sergeant
who hasn't seen his wife in a year.

433
00:49:30,016 --> 00:49:31,978
Come and get her, Mike!

434
00:50:08,221 --> 00:50:11,975
Hey, sarge.
Hey, sarge, break it up here.

435
00:50:16,229 --> 00:50:21,311
Sarge, for some reason
I get the feeling she might like you.

436
00:50:22,569 --> 00:50:25,279
I'm a pretty great guy.

437
00:50:34,998 --> 00:50:39,486
People ask me "Eddie, why do you do it?"

438
00:50:39,586 --> 00:50:41,667
Why?

439
00:50:44,049 --> 00:50:46,952
They say "You could be back
in the States

440
00:50:47,052 --> 00:50:51,998
with your lovely wife,
beautiful three daughters."

441
00:50:52,098 --> 00:50:57,228
They too understand
that we're here for moments like this.

442
00:51:00,857 --> 00:51:06,781
That's why we're here.
Whenever freedom's at stake, we'll be there.

443
00:51:14,704 --> 00:51:18,209
Sing him a song, honey. He's earned it.

444
00:54:17,887 --> 00:54:23,293
This is presented on behalf of the president
of the United States and a grateful nation.

445
00:54:23,393 --> 00:54:25,474
Thank you.

446
00:55:18,948 --> 00:55:22,018
Do you wanna come with me?
What do you say?

447
00:55:22,118 --> 00:55:24,199
Come on.

448
00:55:37,676 --> 00:55:40,579
- That son of ours is really something.
- What happened?

449
00:55:40,679 --> 00:55:44,207
Last night I'm tucking him in bed.
He says "Is kissing dirty?"

450
00:55:44,307 --> 00:55:47,168
- What'd you tell him?
- Only if you do it right.

451
00:55:47,268 --> 00:55:51,715
Hold it. Dixie, the line is
"Only if you don't brush your teeth."

452
00:55:51,815 --> 00:55:55,844
- Yeah, but my line's funny.
- Here we go again. What do you wanna do?

453
00:55:55,944 --> 00:55:58,972
She can't say that. She can't say it.

454
00:55:59,072 --> 00:56:01,433
You wrote the line. You tell her.

455
00:56:01,533 --> 00:56:05,687
- Censor says no, Dixie.
- Screw the censor. Maybe that's the answer.

456
00:56:05,787 --> 00:56:11,026
What do you say, Jack?
Four o'clock, Hotel Edison, Room 809?

457
00:56:11,126 --> 00:56:14,416
Let's everybody take five, OK?

458
00:56:15,171 --> 00:56:17,991
Dixie, it's me, for Christ's sakes.

459
00:56:18,091 --> 00:56:21,036
Leave me alone, Eddie.
I don't wanna talk about it.

460
00:56:21,136 --> 00:56:24,456
- What are you gonna do? The way he says?
- Yeah.

461
00:56:24,556 --> 00:56:28,393
- Harold, take a hike, will you?
- It's Danny.

462
00:56:31,021 --> 00:56:34,299
He's cutting school,
he doesn't come home at night.

463
00:56:34,399 --> 00:56:38,762
- He's 12 years old. He's growing up.
- Eddie, stop. Just stop.

464
00:56:38,862 --> 00:56:41,571
Dixie, Eddie, look who's here,

465
00:56:42,657 --> 00:56:48,521
Oh, my God. Eddie, look. In the fish tank.
It's... the sponsors!

466
00:56:48,621 --> 00:56:51,117
Gentlemen, may I say...

467
00:56:53,084 --> 00:56:57,072
your coffee, I can't live without it,
because it's not just coffee.

468
00:56:57,172 --> 00:57:01,243
It's nectar, it's ambrosia,
it's really like a drug, isn't it?

469
00:57:01,343 --> 00:57:07,600
You probably do put a little narcotic in it,
I've gotta have that coffee!

470
00:57:08,975 --> 00:57:12,295
Sorry, Dixie. We're out of time.
Everybody be back in 30 for air.

471
00:57:12,395 --> 00:57:15,235
Eddie, your wife and daughters
are in the greenroom.

472
00:57:24,074 --> 00:57:26,996
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

473
00:57:31,039 --> 00:57:36,278
- Mummy, may I have a pretzel, please?
- No, darling. You'll spoil your appetite.

474
00:57:36,378 --> 00:57:39,917
- Hello, Daddy.
- Hello, my angel.

475
00:57:40,590 --> 00:57:43,300
- Hi, Daddy.
- Sweetheart.

476
00:57:44,386 --> 00:57:47,497
So, how was traffic?

477
00:57:47,597 --> 00:57:49,808
None to speak of.

478
00:57:50,975 --> 00:57:55,088
Well, I guess I gotta get dressed,
so I'll see you after the show. Girls.

479
00:57:55,188 --> 00:57:56,901
- Good luck.
- Bye, Daddy.

480
00:57:58,274 --> 00:58:01,428
- Excuse me.
- Hi, Eddie. Hi, girls. Want a pretzel?

481
00:58:01,528 --> 00:58:04,639
What is this? Danny Leonard in a tie?
Somebody died?

482
00:58:04,739 --> 00:58:11,079
- My mom wants me to dress up for the show.
- Let's go find her. See you later.

483
00:58:16,751 --> 00:58:19,154
Sh. Oh.

484
00:58:19,254 --> 00:58:21,615
Wait, wait, wait.

485
00:58:21,715 --> 00:58:24,211
How about that?

486
00:58:24,884 --> 00:58:29,468
Which one would you want,
the blonde or the brunette?

487
00:58:32,308 --> 00:58:34,390
- The blonde.
- No.

488
00:58:35,812 --> 00:58:38,298
The brunette? How come?

489
00:58:38,398 --> 00:58:41,320
How come, my boy? Brunettes...

490
00:58:42,152 --> 00:58:44,233
are wilder.

491
00:58:45,864 --> 00:58:47,432
- Hi, girls.
- Hi, Eddie.

492
00:58:47,532 --> 00:58:50,060
- Hi.
- Hi, cutie.

493
00:58:50,160 --> 00:58:52,241
We gotta go. See you.

494
00:58:53,538 --> 00:58:57,078
Contortionists. Never mind.

495
00:58:58,668 --> 00:59:01,821
Absolutely perfect.

496
00:59:01,921 --> 00:59:04,532
- Merrill, who am I supposed to be?
- Scheherazade.

497
00:59:04,632 --> 00:59:07,683
I look like Sabu on a bad night.

498
00:59:09,095 --> 00:59:12,999
- Hey, Ma. Neat costume.
- Merrill, do something with this.

499
00:59:13,099 --> 00:59:15,180
I wanna talk to you.

500
00:59:20,732 --> 00:59:22,813
Come here.

501
00:59:23,568 --> 00:59:26,278
I'd like you to read something.

502
00:59:29,657 --> 00:59:31,739
Go ahead. Read it.

503
00:59:34,412 --> 00:59:37,732
"Dear Dr Rich. Please excuse
Danny from school tomorrow

504
00:59:37,832 --> 00:59:41,736
as he has to visit
his aunt in Connecticut."

505
00:59:41,836 --> 00:59:46,157
Signed Dixie Leonard.
Very good, the Connecticut detail.

506
00:59:46,257 --> 00:59:49,911
Gives it real authenticity,
only Connecticut is spelled with two Ns.

507
00:59:50,011 --> 00:59:55,166
How about this one? "To visit his father's
grave in Washington DC." How could you?

508
00:59:55,266 --> 00:59:57,294
- And this one!
- Miss Leonard...

509
00:59:57,394 --> 00:59:59,462
- Get out!
- You're needed on the floor.

510
00:59:59,562 --> 01:00:01,643
Listen to me.

511
01:00:07,195 --> 01:00:11,992
So you cut school. All right.
What do you do all day?

512
01:00:13,618 --> 01:00:16,229
I'm asking you a question.
What do you do?

513
01:00:16,329 --> 01:00:22,068
Do you walk the streets? Do you go
to the movies? Is this with other kids?

514
01:00:22,168 --> 01:00:25,488
Please. You talk to me.
I'm asking you a question.

515
01:00:25,588 --> 01:00:28,366
I don't know, all right?

516
01:00:28,466 --> 01:00:32,746
It's like you said, OK? Me and some guys,
we go to the movies or hang out.

517
01:00:32,846 --> 01:00:36,082
You sound like a bunch of guys
in an old-age home.

518
01:00:36,182 --> 01:00:39,307
Do you really hate school that much?

519
01:00:40,603 --> 01:00:42,672
- But you gotta go.
- Why?

520
01:00:42,772 --> 01:00:47,302
Because it's the law. Because I say so.
Because your father wanted you to.

521
01:00:47,402 --> 01:00:49,679
What the hell kind of question is that?

522
01:00:49,779 --> 01:00:54,476
- Uncle Eddie never went past the fifth grade.
- Uncle Eddie isn't an example of anything.

523
01:00:54,576 --> 01:00:56,408
Dixie, for God's sake... places!

524
01:00:57,203 --> 01:01:04,374
And now it's time for The Bailey's Comedy
Hour with Eddie Sparks and Dixie Leonard.

525
01:01:08,298 --> 01:01:10,659
Brought to you by Bailey's Foods,

526
01:01:10,759 --> 01:01:14,663
makers of Bailey's coffee
and other fine products for your table.

527
01:01:14,763 --> 01:01:17,249
Hold four. Here we go. Take one.

528
01:01:17,349 --> 01:01:20,293
Watch it. Stay with it,
stay with it. Take it.

529
01:01:20,393 --> 01:01:25,819
Loretta DeChecko, Jesse Sparks
and Wally Fields and the band!

530
01:01:27,942 --> 01:01:33,487
And now here they are,
the Whirling Jepper Clayton Dancers!

531
01:01:47,671 --> 01:01:51,091
We're on two. Three, go to 90.
Take three.

532
01:01:58,390 --> 01:02:02,168
Move in, two. I can't hear the rhythm.
Get the rhythm up.

533
01:02:02,268 --> 01:02:04,349
Go, four.

534
01:02:13,780 --> 01:02:16,454
Dolly around, three. Right... take four.

535
01:02:25,792 --> 01:02:28,904
Listen, I really want you
to lay off Danny. I'm serious.

536
01:02:29,004 --> 01:02:32,532
- What do you mean?
- All this fake man-to-man bullshit.

537
01:02:32,632 --> 01:02:34,951
- It's not bullshit.
- Yes, it is.

538
01:02:35,051 --> 01:02:37,621
He's 13 years old,
not one of your poker buddies.

539
01:02:37,721 --> 01:02:40,749
- You're smothering him.
- You fill his head full of crap.

540
01:02:40,849 --> 01:02:44,127
- Such as what?
- Don't study, life's a big party...

541
01:02:44,227 --> 01:02:46,805
- Sounds good to me.
- Oh, yeah?

542
01:02:47,814 --> 01:02:50,842
You got three daughters.
Give them your wisdom.

543
01:02:50,942 --> 01:02:55,138
- My wisdom is for a son.
- Don't break my heart.

544
01:02:55,238 --> 01:02:57,766
How long's it been?
Eight years Michael's dead?

545
01:02:57,866 --> 01:03:02,331
- You shut up.
- No. You let me talk. Enough is enough.

546
01:03:03,538 --> 01:03:06,983
The boy needs a father, a man in his life,
someone he can talk to.

547
01:03:07,083 --> 01:03:10,320
- Somebody who can teach him.
- How to screw the chorus girls?

548
01:03:10,420 --> 01:03:13,198
Why not, if he wants to? Get off me!

549
01:03:13,298 --> 01:03:18,119
Why not? That's life. I wish somebody was
there to teach me how to kiss 'em, talk to 'em.

550
01:03:18,219 --> 01:03:20,747
- How to jack off.
- What did you say?

551
01:03:20,847 --> 01:03:24,292
Who's gonna tell him
his thing won't fall off? His mother?

552
01:03:24,392 --> 01:03:29,736
- Why don't you put a dress on him?
- You'd probably make a pass at him!

553
01:03:35,236 --> 01:03:37,946
And now, ladies and gentlemen...

554
01:03:39,949 --> 01:03:42,030
the stars of our show...

555
01:03:43,036 --> 01:03:45,105
everybody's lovebirds...

556
01:03:45,205 --> 01:03:47,857
Stay with it, stay with it. Cue 'em on.

557
01:03:47,957 --> 01:03:53,502
..chic-est couple,
Eddie Sparks and Dixie Leonard!

558
01:04:21,199 --> 01:04:23,825
Take it. Why don't you write
funny stuff like that?

559
01:04:25,412 --> 01:04:29,816
You know, medical research has shown
that a rich, hot cup of Bailey's

560
01:04:29,916 --> 01:04:32,193
gets you off to a great start
in the morning,

561
01:04:32,293 --> 01:04:35,739
- Coffee, Miss Leonard?
- Never touch the stuff. Gives me the runs.

562
01:04:35,839 --> 01:04:38,533
- How about some tea?
- You bet.

563
01:04:38,633 --> 01:04:42,470
Mm, Bailey's, That royal,
roasted flavour,

564
01:04:44,431 --> 01:04:47,792
- What do you want?
- It's not important what I want.

565
01:04:47,892 --> 01:04:52,464
Eddie wants you to pull yourself together.
It's renewal time, Dixie.

566
01:04:52,564 --> 01:04:58,678
Come on. You're gonna go out there
and you're gonna do the sketch like a pro.

567
01:04:58,778 --> 01:05:01,986
And strictly from the script, right?

568
01:05:08,288 --> 01:05:10,899
- That son of ours is something.
- What happened?

569
01:05:10,999 --> 01:05:14,569
I'm tucking him in bed last night.
He says "Is kissing dirty?"

570
01:05:14,669 --> 01:05:16,905
- What'd you tell him?
- I said to him:

571
01:05:17,005 --> 01:05:20,617
"Sex between two people
can be a beautiful thing."

572
01:05:20,717 --> 01:05:23,343
"But between four people, fantastic!"

573
01:05:24,804 --> 01:05:26,517
Oh, come on.

574
01:05:28,224 --> 01:05:32,726
Everybody clear.
Get the music started. Here we go.

575
01:05:34,314 --> 01:05:37,092
Well, that's our show.
We hope you liked it.

576
01:05:37,192 --> 01:05:41,096
We sure liked doing it for you.
And until next week, remember...

577
01:06:19,275 --> 01:06:21,950
We're two minutes short.
Give them a fill.

578
01:06:46,886 --> 01:06:48,967
Too short?

579
01:06:49,973 --> 01:06:54,169
Time, we're short time.
Two minutes time.

580
01:06:54,269 --> 01:06:57,005
Do you have any ideas
what we can do in two minutes?

581
01:06:57,105 --> 01:06:59,316
Not unless you're part-rabbit.

582
01:07:06,573 --> 01:07:09,935
The truth is I have been
thinking of something.

583
01:07:10,035 --> 01:07:12,395
This'll be a surprise to you too, Dix.

584
01:07:12,495 --> 01:07:16,858
There's a war happening
halfway across the world

585
01:07:16,958 --> 01:07:20,415
in a lonely place called Korea,

586
01:07:20,920 --> 01:07:28,954
So, I was thinking maybe you, me, Wally and
the boys, we give 'em a little Christmas cheer

587
01:07:29,054 --> 01:07:31,831
and do our Christmas show
in the Yokohama harbour.

588
01:07:31,931 --> 01:07:34,427
Applause. Push the button.

589
01:07:40,357 --> 01:07:42,438
What do you say?

590
01:07:47,072 --> 01:07:50,976
Well, Eddie, as long as
we're talking about helping the boys,

591
01:07:51,076 --> 01:07:54,771
now would be a good time to share
with everyone the magnificent gesture

592
01:07:54,871 --> 01:07:56,940
that this man made today.

593
01:07:57,040 --> 01:07:59,818
There's a time for speaking out
and a time to be modest.

594
01:07:59,918 --> 01:08:04,281
I know that all your fans will be delighted
to know that earlier today

595
01:08:04,381 --> 01:08:11,580
Eddie made a personal contribution
to the International Red Cross of $100,000.

596
01:08:11,680 --> 01:08:14,935
What a guy!

597
01:08:17,268 --> 01:08:19,349
That's my bonus.

598
01:08:22,232 --> 01:08:24,395
We're out of time, folks.

599
01:08:37,914 --> 01:08:40,955
Me! Me!

600
01:08:45,213 --> 01:08:47,294
You.

601
01:09:08,278 --> 01:09:11,097
Tune in next week
and join our special guests:

602
01:09:11,197 --> 01:09:16,102
Bobo, the wonder chimp, Vicky LaRue
and Chester, and the Flying Feldmans.

603
01:09:16,202 --> 01:09:19,956
For Bailey's coffee,
I'm Niles LaGuardia.

604
01:09:26,171 --> 01:09:29,991
- You couldn't say $50,000?
- You're lucky I didn't say a million.

605
01:09:30,091 --> 01:09:35,455
All right, so... maybe I shouldn't have
sprung it on you like that.

606
01:09:35,555 --> 01:09:39,042
- I just thought it'd be more dramatic.
- It was dramatic all right.

607
01:09:39,142 --> 01:09:43,097
- Only trouble is I ain't going.
- Yes, you are.

608
01:09:45,273 --> 01:09:47,567
- Korea.
- And Japan.

609
01:09:48,610 --> 01:09:51,346
- Get outta here. I gotta get dressed.
- Mom?

610
01:09:51,446 --> 01:09:54,266
- Yes, son?
- I'm with Mrs Sparks and the girls.

611
01:09:54,366 --> 01:09:56,659
We'll be right there. Dix.

612
01:09:57,827 --> 01:09:59,908
Look...

613
01:10:02,082 --> 01:10:06,987
- You know what they got in Japan?
- Yeah, radiation.

614
01:10:07,087 --> 01:10:10,240
That's funny. That's not all.

615
01:10:10,340 --> 01:10:14,327
It's... I can't tell you.
It's a fabulous, fabulous country.

616
01:10:14,427 --> 01:10:19,937
There's mountains and hotels...
Come on outta there, will you?

617
01:10:20,392 --> 01:10:24,254
They got all these rituals.
They got these special tubs.

618
01:10:24,354 --> 01:10:29,259
You get in... two people...
and they rub the soap round you.

619
01:10:29,359 --> 01:10:33,430
- What's Margaret gonna do? Hold the towel?
- What is the matter with you?

620
01:10:33,530 --> 01:10:38,852
Soon it's gonna be too late. You'll say "Me
and Eddie could've been beautiful together."

621
01:10:38,952 --> 01:10:41,730
It really works
when you talk to people like this?

622
01:10:41,830 --> 01:10:45,859
- You tell me you don't want it.
- I don't want it.

623
01:10:45,959 --> 01:10:48,904
- You're lying.
- It's not a sex problem with you.

624
01:10:49,004 --> 01:10:51,085
It's a hearing problem.

625
01:10:53,425 --> 01:10:58,163
- Hi, Mom. You were great.
- The show was wonderful. I loved it.

626
01:10:58,263 --> 01:11:00,344
Hi, Uncle Eddie.

627
01:11:02,809 --> 01:11:04,878
- You guys really going to Korea?
- Yeah.

628
01:11:04,978 --> 01:11:10,425
But you're all going to join us in Japan for
Christmas. Won't that be wonderful, Eddie?

629
01:11:10,525 --> 01:11:15,263
- Oh, Eddie. What a lovely idea.
- Keep the families together.

630
01:11:15,363 --> 01:11:19,059
That's so important
in these uncertain times, don't you think?

631
01:11:19,159 --> 01:11:23,355
So tell me about this Korea place.
What's it like?

632
01:11:23,455 --> 01:11:26,579
You're gonna love it.
It's a tropical paradise.

633
01:11:43,099 --> 01:11:46,294
Just like the Polo Lounge.
Give you something to write about.

634
01:11:46,394 --> 01:11:49,422
I've never endured
such discomfort before in my life.

635
01:11:49,522 --> 01:11:54,302
- War is hell. You can quote me on that.
- Go away, go away.

636
01:11:54,402 --> 01:11:56,483
Get outta the way!

637
01:11:57,405 --> 01:12:00,826
Get outta here! Get outta here! Come on!

638
01:12:02,327 --> 01:12:04,646
Goddammit. Lousy gooks.

639
01:12:04,746 --> 01:12:08,191
What do you expect?
These people have no character.

640
01:12:08,291 --> 01:12:10,527
They got no shoes, lady.

641
01:12:10,627 --> 01:12:13,863
That's irrelevant.
It's a matter of national character.

642
01:12:13,963 --> 01:12:16,950
Excellent point, Luanna.
Include it in your next column.

643
01:12:17,050 --> 01:12:20,245
- They're freezing. Can't we do anything?
- We are.

644
01:12:20,345 --> 01:12:24,124
We're saving them from Communism.
See their happy faces?

645
01:12:24,224 --> 01:12:28,044
Cos they don't have to sleep
under some oppressive Communist blanket.

646
01:12:28,144 --> 01:12:34,009
What would you suggest, Mr Silver? We stand
aside and let the Communists take over?

647
01:12:34,109 --> 01:12:37,637
No. I think we should teach
the Communists our military strategy,

648
01:12:37,737 --> 01:12:39,931
then they'll be sure to lose.

649
01:12:40,031 --> 01:12:43,393
- Is that a joke?
- Lady, this whole war's a joke.

650
01:12:43,493 --> 01:12:46,618
- And you can quote me on that.
- Come here.

651
01:12:51,876 --> 01:12:57,032
- Are you nuts? Are you nuts?
- Eddie, she's a gossip columnist.

652
01:12:57,132 --> 01:13:02,078
In 200 newspaper outlets, a friend of J Edgar
Hoover's, every network head in her pocket,

653
01:13:02,178 --> 01:13:04,706
and you wanna trade quips with her?

654
01:13:04,806 --> 01:13:08,293
She'll bury you!
And I don't want you taking me with you.

655
01:13:08,393 --> 01:13:10,337
Forget it.

656
01:13:10,437 --> 01:13:13,423
She is doing a major story on me. Major.

657
01:13:13,523 --> 01:13:16,426
I don't care what you think about
on your own time,

658
01:13:16,526 --> 01:13:21,193
but when you're on salary,
you button it up, all right?

659
01:13:24,242 --> 01:13:29,272
- Fucking war. Gets everybody crazy.
- Let's load up the trucks right now!

660
01:13:29,372 --> 01:13:31,441
- We're getting outta here.
- What's up?

661
01:13:31,541 --> 01:13:35,153
Chinks just jumped in with both feet.
They overran the base an hour ago.

662
01:13:35,253 --> 01:13:36,752
- Our base?
- Not any more.

663
01:13:46,139 --> 01:13:49,167
- What the hell's this?
- Do you believe this?

664
01:13:49,267 --> 01:13:50,627
- Damn.
- Stop!

665
01:13:50,727 --> 01:13:53,046
- We got trouble, Eddie.
- What's going on?

666
01:13:53,146 --> 01:13:55,590
- Stop!
- Hold it. What's that?

667
01:13:55,690 --> 01:13:58,260
- Stop the truck!
- It's a trap.

668
01:13:58,360 --> 01:14:02,138
- It's a marine.
- We got wounded.

669
01:14:02,238 --> 01:14:05,392
- We got VIPs here, man.
- I got fucking wounded!

670
01:14:05,492 --> 01:14:07,894
- What's the problem?
- There's been an ambush.

671
01:14:07,994 --> 01:14:12,732
There's men all over the place.
I gotta get these trucks down there.

672
01:14:12,832 --> 01:14:15,328
- Move!
- Let's go. Hold on.

673
01:14:34,187 --> 01:14:38,439
You're gonna be fine.
You're on your way home now.

674
01:14:42,320 --> 01:14:45,575
You OK, kid? You're going home.

675
01:14:55,166 --> 01:14:58,820
I need another pair of hands here!
I need some help, goddammit!

676
01:14:58,920 --> 01:15:03,116
Hang in there, fella. Hold this.
Over here.

677
01:15:03,216 --> 01:15:05,297
Here. Hold it steady.

678
01:15:07,095 --> 01:15:12,542
Put pressure here. Let it loose every 15
minutes for 30 seconds or he'll lose a leg.

679
01:15:12,642 --> 01:15:18,006
I need stretcher bearers!
Hold this tight. Who the hell are you?

680
01:15:18,106 --> 01:15:20,816
- Dixie Leonard.
- The singer?

681
01:15:22,902 --> 01:15:25,221
Crazy goddamn war.

682
01:15:25,321 --> 01:15:28,099
Hang in there, fella. Hang in there.

683
01:15:28,199 --> 01:15:31,061
30 seconds every 15 minutes,
Dixie Leonard.

684
01:15:31,161 --> 01:15:33,039
Let's go! Let's move it out!

685
01:15:43,089 --> 01:15:47,702
- It's bad, isn't it?
- They're gonna fix you right up.

686
01:15:47,802 --> 01:15:49,883
- Swear to God.
- Sure.

687
01:15:51,014 --> 01:15:53,854
Me and Humpty Dumpty.

688
01:16:00,899 --> 01:16:03,385
Holy shit.

689
01:16:03,485 --> 01:16:05,387
Eddie Sparks.

690
01:16:05,487 --> 01:16:09,406
- It's OK. You don't gotta get up.
- Yeah. Right.

691
01:16:21,211 --> 01:16:23,292
Where you from?

692
01:16:24,255 --> 01:16:25,838
Wilkes-Barre.

693
01:16:28,301 --> 01:16:30,180
I played Wilkes-Barre.

694
01:16:51,574 --> 01:16:54,728
You're gonna be fine.
You're on your way home now.

695
01:16:54,828 --> 01:16:56,909
Careful, careful.

696
01:16:57,664 --> 01:16:59,745
I gotta go with him.

697
01:17:01,459 --> 01:17:03,540
His leg.

698
01:17:04,671 --> 01:17:07,532
- Hold it. Down.
- The tourniquet. He told me...

699
01:17:07,632 --> 01:17:10,660
- I know, ma'am. I got it.
- Careful!

700
01:17:10,760 --> 01:17:14,164
The medic said his leg would be OK.

701
01:17:14,264 --> 01:17:17,186
Pupils fixed and dilated. He's dead.

702
01:17:18,476 --> 01:17:21,087
- Belly wound. He never had a chance.
- He can't be.

703
01:17:21,187 --> 01:17:24,049
- Miss, please.
- No, but he said...

704
01:17:24,149 --> 01:17:28,317
No, but... But he can't be!
He can't be dead!

705
01:17:39,080 --> 01:17:41,244
Excuse me, Miss Leonard.

706
01:17:43,001 --> 01:17:45,070
Follow me, please.

707
01:17:45,170 --> 01:17:47,251
Please, Miss Leonard.

708
01:17:49,049 --> 01:17:51,130
Let's go, Mr Sparks.

709
01:18:05,690 --> 01:18:11,221
This is yours, Mr Sparks. Miss Leonard,
you're the last one on the left, OK?

710
01:18:11,321 --> 01:18:13,402
Thank you.

711
01:18:16,868 --> 01:18:18,949
Just kids.

712
01:18:19,829 --> 01:18:22,207
That's some fucking thing.

713
01:18:23,291 --> 01:18:26,214
Just a kid. About 19 or 20.

714
01:18:30,382 --> 01:18:32,463
Sh.

715
01:18:34,886 --> 01:18:37,872
- Stay with me, Dix.
- Oh, Eddie.

716
01:18:37,972 --> 01:18:40,765
No, not like that. I...

717
01:18:42,686 --> 01:18:44,767
I just...

718
01:18:45,397 --> 01:18:47,924
I don't know.

719
01:18:48,024 --> 01:18:50,947
I don't wanna be alone, OK?

720
01:19:12,757 --> 01:19:15,051
- Hi.
- Hi.

721
01:19:16,845 --> 01:19:18,926
You're up early.

722
01:19:19,973 --> 01:19:22,054
Always.

723
01:19:24,728 --> 01:19:26,809
So what do you think?

724
01:19:32,152 --> 01:19:34,220
You know what I think?

725
01:19:34,320 --> 01:19:41,289
What I think is this Luanna is gonna get up
any minute, sticking her nose around.

726
01:19:44,414 --> 01:19:48,251
She'd like this one, too, Luanna.
You and me.

727
01:19:50,398 --> 01:19:52,443
She'd print it too.

728
01:19:54,110 --> 01:19:56,191
Jesus.

729
01:19:57,071 --> 01:19:59,152
Margaret'd kill me.

730
01:20:12,503 --> 01:20:15,213
- What's wrong?
- Nothing.

731
01:20:17,592 --> 01:20:22,306
A bunch of guys got killed and we got laid.
Am I missing something?

732
01:20:26,434 --> 01:20:29,191
- Sorry you feel like that.
- You'll get over it.

733
01:20:36,277 --> 01:20:42,350
Dixie, last night
was really very, very special.

734
01:20:42,450 --> 01:20:45,812
Yeah. And we'll always have Paris.

735
01:20:45,912 --> 01:20:48,606
I swear, I don't know
how to talk to you sometimes.

736
01:20:48,706 --> 01:20:54,216
Eddie, it's really OK.
But you oughta quit while you're behind.

737
01:21:15,692 --> 01:21:17,773
Tamaki Kawakubo!

738
01:21:21,030 --> 01:21:22,577
Domo arigato,

739
01:21:28,538 --> 01:21:30,619
I'd like to make a toast.

740
01:21:35,169 --> 01:21:40,700
Eddie, Dixie, on behalf of our fighting
men and women everywhere,

741
01:21:40,800 --> 01:21:43,343
you're doing a magnificent job.

742
01:21:44,095 --> 01:21:49,770
To you, to your troupe,
we love you and God bless you.

743
01:21:50,226 --> 01:21:52,003
- Hip, hip!
- Hooray!

744
01:21:52,103 --> 01:21:53,129
- Hip, hip!
- Hooray!

745
01:21:53,229 --> 01:21:55,026
- Hip, hip!
- Hooray!

746
01:21:57,025 --> 01:22:00,031
- Nice party.
- Yeah, I've had worse.

747
01:22:04,073 --> 01:22:10,146
Eddie, the sponsors are getting
a lot of heat about this writer of yours.

748
01:22:10,246 --> 01:22:14,109
- Art Silver.
- Art Silver? What kind of heat?

749
01:22:14,209 --> 01:22:18,460
Well, they... they say he's a Red.

750
01:22:19,505 --> 01:22:23,159
He signed some things.
I don't know what.

751
01:22:23,259 --> 01:22:26,371
He's not gonna overthrow anything.
He's a comedy writer.

752
01:22:26,471 --> 01:22:32,877
I know that, but these guys have got a bug
up their ass about this whole commie thing.

753
01:22:32,977 --> 01:22:36,631
Yeah, well, I'll talk to him.

754
01:22:36,731 --> 01:22:40,271
Yeah, well, it's past that.

755
01:22:41,236 --> 01:22:43,732
They want him off the show.

756
01:22:44,405 --> 01:22:48,184
- That's ridiculous.
- Eddie, they're ready to walk.

757
01:22:48,284 --> 01:22:51,855
I mean it. They're not signing
unless he's off the payroll.

758
01:22:51,955 --> 01:22:55,442
- They want you to handle it now.
- What do you mean, now?

759
01:22:55,542 --> 01:22:57,986
- Tonight.
- It's Christmas.

760
01:22:58,086 --> 01:23:02,407
Eddie, we are talking
about a five-year renewal.

761
01:23:02,507 --> 01:23:05,003
Now, please, think about it.

762
01:23:08,596 --> 01:23:12,041
I'll tell you what, fuck doing the work.
Go to another network.

763
01:23:12,141 --> 01:23:16,546
They're all the same. They're all
cleaning house. Actors, directors, writers.

764
01:23:16,646 --> 01:23:18,965
It's a bloodbath.

765
01:23:19,065 --> 01:23:23,649
Eddie, my friend,
that's just the way things are now.

766
01:23:26,781 --> 01:23:30,727
Me and Art...
18 years we've been together.

767
01:23:30,827 --> 01:23:34,773
You gotta stop thinking about just yourself.
You got a lot of responsibility.

768
01:23:34,873 --> 01:23:41,295
You got a lot of people on the payroll.
You can't afford to be controversial.

769
01:23:58,563 --> 01:24:02,400
Is this a private party
or can anybody get in?

770
01:24:23,379 --> 01:24:26,385
And have you been a good little boy?

771
01:24:27,008 --> 01:24:29,077
Listen, you got a minute?

772
01:24:29,177 --> 01:24:31,720
All right, smile!

773
01:24:32,263 --> 01:24:34,344
Good, that's terrific.

774
01:24:37,602 --> 01:24:42,269
- Nice to have you aboard.
- Thank you. Nice being here.

775
01:24:44,234 --> 01:24:46,315
It's done.

776
01:24:48,655 --> 01:24:52,527
Merry Christmas!

777
01:24:59,958 --> 01:25:04,654
Oh, my heavens.
Is that Miss Luanna Trott?

778
01:25:04,754 --> 01:25:08,045
What do we have for little Luanna today?

779
01:25:10,260 --> 01:25:12,787
Something to get around on.

780
01:25:12,887 --> 01:25:14,581
Ho-ho-ho!

781
01:25:14,681 --> 01:25:17,889
- I'll save it for Halloween.
- Good sport, Luanna.

782
01:25:19,269 --> 01:25:20,795
Ho-ho-ho!

783
01:25:22,313 --> 01:25:24,757
And who have we here?
What's your name, son?

784
01:25:24,857 --> 01:25:29,512
- Come on, Uncle Art. It's me, Danny.
- Danny, you rotten little kid.

785
01:25:29,612 --> 01:25:34,017
What you got on your hat there, Danny?
I see some writing on your hat.

786
01:25:34,117 --> 01:25:36,269
USS Missouri.

787
01:25:36,369 --> 01:25:42,662
And here it is. A perfect replica
of the USS Missouri for you.

788
01:25:46,754 --> 01:25:50,543
Oh, and Mr Admiral.
We haven't forgotten you.

789
01:25:51,509 --> 01:25:56,915
Mr Admiral has big responsibilities
during the Christmas period.

790
01:25:57,015 --> 01:26:00,001
What could we give to Mr Admiral?

791
01:26:00,101 --> 01:26:02,003
Oh, my goodness.

792
01:26:02,103 --> 01:26:08,718
Another replica of his ship,
the USS Missouri.

793
01:26:08,818 --> 01:26:12,806
- She never looked better.
- And no shelling the civilians, promise?

794
01:26:12,906 --> 01:26:14,987
I promise.

795
01:26:16,326 --> 01:26:21,231
And who's this lovely lady?
I'll bet you we have something really nice.

796
01:26:21,331 --> 01:26:26,027
Well, let's see here. It's an autographed
picture of her husband,

797
01:26:26,127 --> 01:26:31,968
personally inscribed: "To Margaret.
Best wishes. Eddie Sparks."

798
01:26:34,761 --> 01:26:37,257
I'll cherish this for ever.

799
01:26:39,807 --> 01:26:42,377
God, it isn't. Is it?

800
01:26:42,477 --> 01:26:45,672
I don't have my glasses.
It is. It's Eddie Sparks.

801
01:26:45,772 --> 01:26:50,176
- Have you been a good boy, Eddie?
- Don't do this.

802
01:26:50,276 --> 01:26:53,199
Don't do this? This is what I do.

803
01:26:54,530 --> 01:26:59,185
Don't be a schmuck.
We'll work it out under the table, all right?

804
01:26:59,285 --> 01:27:06,752
Under the table? I can't work under
the table. That's where all the rats are.

805
01:27:07,544 --> 01:27:12,839
And now, boys and girls,
it's time for Uncle Eddie's present!

806
01:27:14,008 --> 01:27:16,255
Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!

807
01:27:29,023 --> 01:27:32,528
Oh, look, Eddie. There's a note.

808
01:27:33,861 --> 01:27:37,816
- Why don't you read it?
- Why don't you read it?

809
01:27:39,951 --> 01:27:42,032
OK, I will.

810
01:27:51,629 --> 01:27:53,710
"Dear Eddie."

811
01:27:57,176 --> 01:28:00,266
"I wrote my first joke
for you on this, June 1932."

812
01:28:04,100 --> 01:28:08,254
"I thought you should have it...
for your trophy case."

813
01:28:08,354 --> 01:28:11,111
Signed: "Your pal."

814
01:28:14,861 --> 01:28:16,942
"Art."

815
01:28:22,243 --> 01:28:27,607
Well, boys and girls,
it's time to go back to the North Pole.

816
01:28:27,707 --> 01:28:29,788
Ho-ho-ho!

817
01:28:31,628 --> 01:28:34,966
Happy Hanukkah and to all, sayonara!

818
01:28:49,520 --> 01:28:52,859
- You fired him?
- You stay out of this.

819
01:28:53,900 --> 01:28:58,138
Wally, play some music. This is a party.
Dance, everybody dance.

820
01:28:58,238 --> 01:29:00,557
- Some high drama here.
- I'll fix it.

821
01:29:00,657 --> 01:29:04,362
- May I have this dance?
- You can go fuck yourself.

822
01:29:05,537 --> 01:29:08,481
Come here.
You know where you're going here?

823
01:29:08,581 --> 01:29:11,568
You wanna give it away
because he wants to live in Russia?

824
01:29:11,668 --> 01:29:16,239
- What the hell did he do? Sign a petition.
- These guys control the network.

825
01:29:16,339 --> 01:29:18,950
He's your friend.
Tell 'em to go to hell.

826
01:29:19,050 --> 01:29:21,578
I'm not committing suicide
for Art or anyone.

827
01:29:21,678 --> 01:29:25,790
You are so full of shit.
You're worse than they are.

828
01:29:25,890 --> 01:29:29,794
Who did this? Who did this?
Was it you, Luanna?

829
01:29:29,894 --> 01:29:33,756
You smug bitch.
Did you put my uncle's name on a list?

830
01:29:33,856 --> 01:29:39,554
Did you? What are you smiling at? You did.
Or you, Sam, was it you?

831
01:29:39,654 --> 01:29:43,028
Or you? Or you, or you?

832
01:29:44,284 --> 01:29:49,314
Who's next, fellas? Rudolph? He's got
a red nose too. We can't be too careful.

833
01:29:49,414 --> 01:29:53,276
Hey! I got a great idea!
Let's form a club.

834
01:29:53,376 --> 01:29:58,782
Everybody who joins gets a button...
"I got screwed by Eddie Sparks."

835
01:29:58,882 --> 01:30:03,620
- Don't worry, Eddie. She doesn't mean it.
- Come on, we're going home.

836
01:30:03,720 --> 01:30:08,249
- It's OK, son. She's just tired.
- Look at him. See who he really is.

837
01:30:08,349 --> 01:30:11,711
This man threw your Uncle Art out
like a piece of garbage.

838
01:30:11,811 --> 01:30:16,508
You wanna grow up to be like him?
Sure, turn your wife into a drunk.

839
01:30:16,608 --> 01:30:19,344
- Use people up and throw 'em away!
- It's OK, Eddie.

840
01:30:19,444 --> 01:30:23,696
- And he's gonna throw you away too!
- It's OK, son.

841
01:30:25,491 --> 01:30:27,572
Come on.

842
01:30:29,621 --> 01:30:34,169
He's a monster! Come to me! Come to Mom.

843
01:30:34,834 --> 01:30:36,319
Mom...

844
01:30:36,419 --> 01:30:40,671
You can't have him!
You keep your hands off my son!

845
01:30:52,852 --> 01:30:54,933
It's OK, son. It's OK.

846
01:31:02,195 --> 01:31:06,266
I believe that our generation
will change the world.

847
01:31:06,366 --> 01:31:09,490
I believe in freedom and honour,

848
01:31:10,995 --> 01:31:15,247
hard work and the genius
of the American system.

849
01:31:17,001 --> 01:31:23,825
I believe in the need to protect that system
with strength and justice and compassion

850
01:31:23,925 --> 01:31:26,619
wherever it is threatened.

851
01:31:26,719 --> 01:31:32,644
I believe in respect for rank
and the wisdom of our founding fathers.

852
01:31:34,352 --> 01:31:36,433
I believe in America.

853
01:31:38,189 --> 01:31:44,315
To love it and defend it as my father did
with the ultimate sacrifice.

854
01:31:47,365 --> 01:31:50,977
I believe in the importance of family,

855
01:31:51,077 --> 01:31:54,914
in my mother and her spirit.

856
01:32:02,672 --> 01:32:07,422
What the hell could I do?
There was Eddie every time I turned around.

857
01:32:09,762 --> 01:32:14,061
And you know what? Danny loved him.

858
01:32:15,977 --> 01:32:19,005
I never had a chance.

859
01:32:19,105 --> 01:32:22,444
- And you and Eddie?
- We hardly spoke.

860
01:32:24,986 --> 01:32:29,599
Network dropped me like a hot potato.
They said I was...

861
01:32:29,699 --> 01:32:32,644
- Controversial?
- Bingo.

862
01:32:32,744 --> 01:32:35,688
That was me. Isn't that a hoot?

863
01:32:35,788 --> 01:32:42,792
Me, who always thought Karl Marx
was the sixth Marx brother after Zeppo.

864
01:32:44,130 --> 01:32:48,201
Eddie stayed with the show but...
it never really worked.

865
01:32:48,301 --> 01:32:50,411
Cancelled him after a season.

866
01:32:50,511 --> 01:32:54,514
- So what did you do?
- What did I do? What didn't I do?

867
01:32:55,892 --> 01:33:01,256
Dinner theatre, stock, club dates.

868
01:33:01,356 --> 01:33:06,678
Saved up a little money, bought myself
a little bistro in Hollywood.

869
01:33:06,778 --> 01:33:09,472
A jazz club.

870
01:33:09,572 --> 01:33:12,475
I liked it. Friends would come by.

871
01:33:12,575 --> 01:33:14,656
And Danny?

872
01:33:19,916 --> 01:33:21,568
Danny.

873
01:33:24,254 --> 01:33:28,636
- Bring him back here,
- Remember to stop the bleeding!

874
01:33:31,553 --> 01:33:37,181
These frantic efforts were to no avail,
The wounded man was dead,

875
01:33:41,980 --> 01:33:49,115
Purple smoke marks the landing zone as
the medevac helicopter arrives minutes later,

876
01:34:11,718 --> 01:34:15,205
- Twice in one week?
- I'm a fan.

877
01:34:21,519 --> 01:34:23,600
Thank you.

878
01:34:26,024 --> 01:34:30,136
Eddie called. Couple of weeks ago.

879
01:34:30,236 --> 01:34:35,448
He called a lot, actually.
I went over, we got to talking.

880
01:34:36,409 --> 01:34:40,522
He gave an interview about me
in the LA Times,

881
01:34:40,622 --> 01:34:44,776
The whole blacklisting thing
is coming out this Sunday.

882
01:34:44,876 --> 01:34:47,362
You know what he said?

883
01:34:47,462 --> 01:34:51,533
"I don't much about Art,
but I know what I like."

884
01:34:51,633 --> 01:34:55,220
Very clever line.
Did you write it for him?

885
01:34:58,056 --> 01:35:03,055
15 years, Dixie.
I can't drag it around any more.

886
01:35:04,270 --> 01:35:07,799
I don't wanna end up
writing for Beat the Clock,

887
01:35:07,899 --> 01:35:13,596
Art, you're my uncle and I love you.
Do what you gotta do, all right?

888
01:35:13,696 --> 01:35:17,642
There's a kicker.
The network wants a special.

889
01:35:17,742 --> 01:35:20,812
Eddie Sparks' 25th anniversary
of the first tour.

890
01:35:20,912 --> 01:35:25,108
- They're throwing money at him.
- America, the land of the fee.

891
01:35:25,208 --> 01:35:27,704
Two weeks in Vietnam.

892
01:35:28,795 --> 01:35:33,592
We got Loretta, Wally,
everybody from the old group.

893
01:35:34,300 --> 01:35:37,579
- Not everybody.
- At least hear him out.

894
01:35:37,679 --> 01:35:40,248
Would you do that? For me?

895
01:35:40,348 --> 01:35:43,960
For old times. We owe him, Dixie.

896
01:35:44,060 --> 01:35:46,141
I owe him, all right.

897
01:35:47,272 --> 01:35:49,353
He's outside.

898
01:35:51,776 --> 01:35:55,763
He was afraid to come in. He's out there
sitting in the goddamn limousine.

899
01:35:55,863 --> 01:35:58,786
Can I tell him it's OK to come in?

900
01:36:00,285 --> 01:36:02,562
He sent you in here for this?

901
01:36:02,662 --> 01:36:05,064
Who's he gonna send?

902
01:36:05,164 --> 01:36:08,087
Sam's dead. The girls are gone.

903
01:36:09,210 --> 01:36:11,967
Margaret's left him. We're all he's got.

904
01:36:15,466 --> 01:36:17,577
Come here.

905
01:36:17,677 --> 01:36:22,207
- Look, it's Eddie Sparks, right there.
- Oh, yeah. Look, Eddie Sparks.

906
01:36:22,307 --> 01:36:25,919
- Hi, Mr Sparks. How you doing?
- Hi. I'm looking for Dixie.

907
01:36:26,019 --> 01:36:30,401
- She's waiting for you right over there.
- Thanks.

908
01:36:34,777 --> 01:36:36,858
Excuse me, sir.

909
01:36:39,324 --> 01:36:41,701
It's Eddie Sparks!

910
01:36:51,127 --> 01:36:53,988
- Mind if I sit down?
- It's a free country.

911
01:36:54,088 --> 01:36:56,169
So far, anyway.

912
01:37:05,099 --> 01:37:07,180
So...

913
01:37:09,854 --> 01:37:12,549
Art, you spoke to him, yeah?

914
01:37:12,649 --> 01:37:14,611
Oh, yeah.

915
01:37:16,152 --> 01:37:19,264
- So what do you think?
- I think your hairpiece is too tight.

916
01:37:19,364 --> 01:37:23,184
It's starting to affect your brain.

917
01:37:23,284 --> 01:37:25,365
Always with the quips.

918
01:37:28,498 --> 01:37:30,994
You know, you and me.

919
01:37:32,502 --> 01:37:34,167
You and me.

920
01:37:35,588 --> 01:37:39,009
Back together again. We could show 'em.

921
01:37:41,177 --> 01:37:44,634
Dixie, I wanna do it again.

922
01:37:46,641 --> 01:37:48,501
Big show, big audience.

923
01:37:48,601 --> 01:37:52,213
Not this television shit,
300 people in the bedroom.

924
01:37:52,313 --> 01:37:54,394
I mean 10,000.

925
01:37:56,150 --> 01:37:58,231
That sound, remember?

926
01:38:03,533 --> 01:38:05,780
Oh, my.

927
01:38:11,666 --> 01:38:15,987
I wanna do it again.
What do you say? One more time.

928
01:38:16,087 --> 01:38:19,115
- I'm not in the business.
- Look...

929
01:38:19,215 --> 01:38:21,296
We could see Danny.

930
01:38:22,594 --> 01:38:26,706
Look. He writes to me all the time.
He writes to me all the time.

931
01:38:26,806 --> 01:38:28,583
Here, look, look.

932
01:38:28,683 --> 01:38:33,213
Saigon... Now, look...

933
01:38:33,313 --> 01:38:36,022
Look, Danny. Danny, Danny...

934
01:38:37,400 --> 01:38:39,481
Look, I got friends.

935
01:38:40,528 --> 01:38:45,058
State Department, four-star generals,
the president, they owe me.

936
01:38:45,158 --> 01:38:47,811
Don't do this.

937
01:38:47,911 --> 01:38:53,233
I could get us in. Don't you wanna
see your boy? Don't you wanna see him?

938
01:38:53,333 --> 01:38:57,715
I do. Come on. You wanna see him, right?

939
01:39:00,673 --> 01:39:03,169
You son of a bitch.

940
01:39:19,567 --> 01:39:23,513
Hey, why is he following the road?

941
01:39:23,613 --> 01:39:28,852
- Cos he's afraid to fly over the jungle.
- Afraid? Of being seen?

942
01:39:28,952 --> 01:39:31,033
A lot of VC, right?

943
01:39:32,163 --> 01:39:35,024
I'll be straight with you, Eddie.
I don't like this.

944
01:39:35,124 --> 01:39:39,070
You got no business being here.
I can't guarantee your safety.

945
01:39:39,170 --> 01:39:41,906
Don't worry about it.

946
01:39:42,006 --> 01:39:45,630
- There it is.
- Where? Over there?

947
01:39:49,347 --> 01:39:51,428
Oh, my God.

948
01:40:16,124 --> 01:40:21,503
You got one hour to do what you gotta do
and then we're outta here. Got it?

949
01:40:46,446 --> 01:40:48,640
Where is he?

950
01:40:48,740 --> 01:40:51,893
He's out checking perimeter guards.
He'll be back in a while.

951
01:40:51,993 --> 01:40:56,481
Get your choppers back here by 1430 hours.
I can't guarantee air cover after that.

952
01:40:56,581 --> 01:40:59,901
Don't worry. We got a big show
in Bien Hoa tonight.

953
01:41:00,001 --> 01:41:02,082
10,000 guys.

954
01:41:03,796 --> 01:41:06,672
That's certainly a lot of guys.

955
01:41:07,926 --> 01:41:12,094
I'd like to get a look
at the stage area if I could.

956
01:41:14,349 --> 01:41:17,919
I know the men
are gonna really enjoy the show.

957
01:41:18,019 --> 01:41:20,380
- I hope so.
- Yeah.

958
01:41:20,480 --> 01:41:22,561
Thank you, Major.

959
01:41:27,278 --> 01:41:29,359
Pretty exciting, huh?

960
01:41:30,031 --> 01:41:32,361
Yeah, I guess so.

961
01:41:37,080 --> 01:41:39,576
Yeah? Help you, son?

962
01:41:42,794 --> 01:41:46,168
So I finally got you two
in the same room.

963
01:41:48,841 --> 01:41:50,785
Danny.

964
01:41:50,885 --> 01:41:54,164
- Danny, Danny, Danny.
- Ma.

965
01:41:54,264 --> 01:41:57,223
It's OK. It's OK, Ma.

966
01:42:02,230 --> 01:42:03,350
Hello, son.

967
01:42:04,440 --> 01:42:07,067
Good to see you again.

968
01:42:20,582 --> 01:42:24,068
You're mixing it up pretty good,
I hear, huh? Huh?

969
01:42:24,168 --> 01:42:26,250
Sir?

970
01:42:29,549 --> 01:42:32,887
Charlie action, firefights, like that.

971
01:42:35,221 --> 01:42:37,302
Yeah.

972
01:42:39,434 --> 01:42:41,312
They're out there.

973
01:42:42,520 --> 01:42:45,089
You look like hell.

974
01:42:45,189 --> 01:42:48,593
I'm fine. I'm fine, Ma.

975
01:42:48,693 --> 01:42:54,736
I can't tell you how damn proud we are
of what you're doing here.

976
01:42:57,076 --> 01:43:00,647
We're gonna beat
those little bastards, you know.

977
01:43:00,747 --> 01:43:03,525
Yes, sir.

978
01:43:03,625 --> 01:43:06,121
As soon as we find 'em.

979
01:43:13,468 --> 01:43:15,964
- Williams.
- Captain Danny.

980
01:43:17,931 --> 01:43:19,513
- O'Connor.
- Hi, Captain.

981
01:43:46,543 --> 01:43:48,194
Come on.

982
01:43:48,294 --> 01:43:50,447
What? What is it, Danny?

983
01:43:50,547 --> 01:43:53,469
Honey, talk to me, for God's sake.

984
01:43:54,384 --> 01:43:58,552
It's a shame, really.
Such a beautiful country.

985
01:44:00,181 --> 01:44:04,978
I don't know how it's ever gonna
come back from all this.

986
01:44:19,117 --> 01:44:22,020
- He doesn't get it, does he?
- Honey, don't say that.

987
01:44:22,120 --> 01:44:25,440
He moved heaven and earth
to bring us here.

988
01:44:25,540 --> 01:44:28,036
With the cameras.

989
01:44:30,587 --> 01:44:34,240
- He's gonna get it all on film, right?
- Why are you surprised?

990
01:44:34,340 --> 01:44:37,577
What have you been writing him
all this time?

991
01:44:37,677 --> 01:44:39,758
What he wanted to hear.

992
01:44:40,847 --> 01:44:43,936
- What'd you want me to write?
- The truth.

993
01:44:45,685 --> 01:44:47,766
The truth?

994
01:44:54,235 --> 01:44:57,158
See that kid up there?

995
01:44:58,281 --> 01:45:00,029
The corporal?

996
01:45:01,451 --> 01:45:03,019
Yeah.

997
01:45:03,119 --> 01:45:05,563
He's a sweet kid.

998
01:45:05,663 --> 01:45:07,732
He's from Chicago.

999
01:45:07,832 --> 01:45:10,542
His father's a schoolteacher.

1000
01:45:14,464 --> 01:45:16,960
He collects ears.

1001
01:45:22,513 --> 01:45:25,638
He cuts the ears off of dead bodies.

1002
01:45:27,894 --> 01:45:31,714
He's got a hell
of a little collection of 'em.

1003
01:45:31,814 --> 01:45:33,895
In 20, 25 years...

1004
01:45:37,487 --> 01:45:41,027
he's gonna sell them stateside, he says.

1005
01:45:53,127 --> 01:45:55,208
I gotta send him home.

1006
01:45:57,799 --> 01:46:00,924
He's only 19 years old and he's gone.

1007
01:46:02,720 --> 01:46:04,801
It's a nightmare.

1008
01:46:05,890 --> 01:46:07,971
Please.

1009
01:46:14,065 --> 01:46:20,680
You know, Eddie, he's got a lot of friends.
He could get you out of here.

1010
01:46:20,780 --> 01:46:24,830
I'm a captain, Mom.
I got men under me here.

1011
01:46:28,329 --> 01:46:30,732
And anyway....

1012
01:46:30,832 --> 01:46:33,542
it'd break Eddie's heart.

1013
01:46:36,588 --> 01:46:40,617
I went to the doctor.
He said my sex life was all in my head.

1014
01:46:40,717 --> 01:46:44,245
I said "Yeah, I know,
I want it lowered."

1015
01:46:45,471 --> 01:46:51,669
You gotta laugh or else they're gonna sell me
to the VC for target practice.

1016
01:46:51,769 --> 01:46:54,506
- Where are the girls?
- Girls!

1017
01:46:54,606 --> 01:46:58,443
- Girls!
- Hold it. Did I hear girls?

1018
01:47:01,529 --> 01:47:03,491
We got girls!

1019
01:47:04,908 --> 01:47:08,246
We got girls!

1020
01:47:09,746 --> 01:47:11,856
Hey, Janie, come here!

1021
01:48:34,414 --> 01:48:36,495
Hey, hey, hey!

1022
01:48:38,877 --> 01:48:40,945
Hold it, hold it.

1023
01:48:41,045 --> 01:48:43,624
Hold it, hold it. Guys, guys, guys.

1024
01:48:46,551 --> 01:48:48,453
Come here, come here.

1025
01:48:48,553 --> 01:48:51,206
Let's have a hand
for little Janie Perkins.

1026
01:48:53,933 --> 01:48:58,316
She'll be back later.
She's gonna do more later. Lighten up.

1027
01:48:59,105 --> 01:49:01,683
Now back off here a little bit.

1028
01:49:02,567 --> 01:49:05,489
I got a special treat for you guys.

1029
01:49:06,446 --> 01:49:08,527
I'm gonna tell you now.

1030
01:49:09,490 --> 01:49:13,561
You know your captain Danny Leonard?

1031
01:49:13,661 --> 01:49:15,955
Hell of a man, hell of a man.

1032
01:49:19,000 --> 01:49:20,713
His mother...

1033
01:49:21,711 --> 01:49:27,470
His mother flew 12,000 miles
to be with him and to be with you.

1034
01:49:32,388 --> 01:49:35,750
Best singer I've ever heard.

1035
01:49:35,850 --> 01:49:39,087
She's here for you guys.
Let me bring her out.

1036
01:49:39,187 --> 01:49:42,193
The wonderful Miss Dixie Leonard.

1037
01:49:49,239 --> 01:49:51,735
Dixie! Dixie!

1038
01:49:52,867 --> 01:49:54,948
All right, shut up.

1039
01:49:55,995 --> 01:49:58,076
Shut up!

1040
01:49:59,332 --> 01:50:04,904
You guys are the sorriest bunch of grunts
I ever saw in my life.

1041
01:50:05,004 --> 01:50:07,198
Where the hell did you learn
your manners?

1042
01:50:07,298 --> 01:50:11,828
Don't you know you're supposed to say
"excuse me" before you attack a lady?

1043
01:50:11,928 --> 01:50:14,768
Show us your tits, Mama!

1044
01:50:22,313 --> 01:50:27,111
I would, sonny,
but you'd probably have a heart attack.

1045
01:50:30,196 --> 01:50:33,404
All right, shut the fuck up.

1046
01:50:36,327 --> 01:50:41,125
It's Christmas time.
Gonna sing a little song for you.

1047
01:51:18,661 --> 01:51:22,232
I need stuff like Danny listening.

1048
01:51:22,332 --> 01:51:25,955
He's not in the audience.
I can't find him.

1049
01:51:28,379 --> 01:51:30,792
Keep looking, will you?

1050
01:53:49,979 --> 01:53:51,728
Incoming!

1051
01:53:53,483 --> 01:53:54,592
Drop! Drop!

1052
01:53:54,692 --> 01:53:56,773
Move it! Move it! Move it!

1053
01:53:58,404 --> 01:54:01,944
Get down in there, you hear me?
Don't come out!

1054
01:57:24,319 --> 01:57:29,780
We flew back with him
on the plane, Eddie and me,

1055
01:57:30,575 --> 01:57:33,415
And... we buried him,

1056
01:57:34,204 --> 01:57:36,700
and we never spoke again,

1057
01:57:38,875 --> 01:57:41,335
25 years,

1058
01:57:53,306 --> 01:57:57,178
Listen, why don't you just relax?

1059
01:57:58,394 --> 01:58:02,382
Just close your eyes
for a couple of minutes, OK?

1060
01:58:02,482 --> 01:58:04,563
Do that for me?

1061
01:58:05,985 --> 01:58:08,066
I'll be right back.

1062
01:58:12,825 --> 01:58:18,536
The thing you wanna avoid
is outlasting everybody.

1063
01:58:20,583 --> 01:58:23,319
Can you remember that?

1064
01:58:23,419 --> 01:58:25,500
Sure.

1065
01:58:26,047 --> 01:58:28,128
Good.

1066
01:58:29,676 --> 01:58:31,757
Just close your eyes.

1067
01:58:33,513 --> 01:58:35,594
I've gotta...

1068
01:58:36,182 --> 01:58:40,434
I'm gonna be right back, OK?
Just two minutes, OK?

1069
01:58:50,238 --> 01:58:53,600
Where the hell are you? We go in 20 minutes.
Eddie's asking for her.

1070
01:58:53,700 --> 01:58:58,605
Forget it. You don't want her
on the stage with him. Not on live TV.

1071
01:58:58,705 --> 01:59:01,191
- What happened?
- Her life.

1072
01:59:01,291 --> 01:59:03,985
Jesus, don't get poetic with me,
you little putz!

1073
01:59:04,085 --> 01:59:09,199
- Listen, it won't work, Stan.
- OK, dump her and get your ass down here.

1074
01:59:09,299 --> 01:59:13,882
I don't think so, Stan.
She needs to be with somebody.

1075
01:59:16,639 --> 01:59:18,803
Is everything all right?

1076
01:59:19,893 --> 01:59:22,685
Go see if Joan Collins
is out in the audience.

1077
01:59:25,565 --> 01:59:27,646
Miss Leonard?

1078
01:59:29,903 --> 01:59:35,827
Jesus. Miss Leonard, are you all right?
Miss Leonard! Miss Leonard!

1079
01:59:37,911 --> 01:59:40,438
Miss Leonard.

1080
01:59:40,538 --> 01:59:43,358
Open this door, goddammit! Dixie!

1081
01:59:43,458 --> 01:59:45,539
It opens out, genius.

1082
01:59:50,548 --> 01:59:53,076
You're dressed.

1083
01:59:53,176 --> 01:59:55,423
Balenciaga. What do you think?

1084
01:59:57,972 --> 02:00:00,291
You look beautiful.

1085
02:00:00,391 --> 02:00:03,294
You thought I was taking
a bunch of sleeping pills.

1086
02:00:03,394 --> 02:00:04,212
No, I...

1087
02:00:04,312 --> 02:00:07,173
This dress cost me.
I ain't gonna waste it. Let's go.

1088
02:00:07,273 --> 02:00:09,759
You're gonna do it?

1089
02:00:09,859 --> 02:00:14,264
50 million people.
He can't handle that by himself.

1090
02:00:14,364 --> 02:00:17,475
And that better be a stretch limo
or you're in deep shit.

1091
02:00:17,575 --> 02:00:19,602
Yes, ma'am.

1092
02:00:39,556 --> 02:00:44,057
Stand by with the girls, please.
Ready to cue the girls in and cue 'em in.

1093
02:01:02,120 --> 02:01:06,372
And ready, boys.
And dissolve... Send them in.

1094
02:01:20,346 --> 02:01:23,833
- She's coming!
- Here she is!

1095
02:01:23,933 --> 02:01:27,045
Miss Leonard! Can we have a picture?

1096
02:01:27,145 --> 02:01:29,522
Come on, back off. Back off!

1097
02:01:32,567 --> 02:01:34,636
Let her through!

1098
02:01:34,736 --> 02:01:37,806
Come on, Miss Leonard.

1099
02:01:37,906 --> 02:01:39,987
Please!

1100
02:01:41,075 --> 02:01:43,520
- Keep the hands in.
- What?

1101
02:01:43,620 --> 02:01:48,316
- She's here.
- Great. Get her into make-up quick.

1102
02:01:48,416 --> 02:01:50,627
Standby on two. And take it.

1103
02:01:59,761 --> 02:02:01,329
Get outta the way.

1104
02:02:01,429 --> 02:02:04,415
Miss Leonard, I'm Stan.
I'm the producer.

1105
02:02:04,515 --> 02:02:07,669
This is such an honour.
We're thrilled you decided to come.

1106
02:02:07,769 --> 02:02:10,046
- Where's Eddie?
- No time for that.

1107
02:02:10,146 --> 02:02:14,300
After this number we go to commercial,
then the tape of the president's greeting,

1108
02:02:14,400 --> 02:02:18,805
then the film clips, then we intro
Senator Ramsey for the presentation,

1109
02:02:18,905 --> 02:02:24,352
then you and Eddie, "Glad to be here",
couple of shticks, then you do your thing.

1110
02:02:24,452 --> 02:02:26,938
- Sounds lovely.
- Five minutes,

1111
02:02:27,038 --> 02:02:28,523
- Where?
- Make-up.

1112
02:02:28,623 --> 02:02:30,525
- This way.
- Right over there.

1113
02:02:30,625 --> 02:02:34,378
Where are you going?
Hey, kid, I am talking to you.

1114
02:02:51,646 --> 02:02:55,186
Son of a bitch still makes me nervous.

1115
02:02:56,568 --> 02:03:00,388
You go easy on him.
Remember, he's an endangered species.

1116
02:03:00,488 --> 02:03:02,569
Ain't we all?

1117
02:03:04,409 --> 02:03:07,604
- Thank you.
- For what?

1118
02:03:07,704 --> 02:03:12,484
You know, showing up,
being a pushy assistant.

1119
02:03:12,584 --> 02:03:14,903
Ex pushy assistant.

1120
02:03:15,003 --> 02:03:18,323
You got a bigger talent,
like your mother says.

1121
02:03:18,423 --> 02:03:20,504
You can fix things.

1122
02:03:23,344 --> 02:03:26,469
- Goodbye, Miss Leonard.
- Goodbye.

1123
02:03:27,515 --> 02:03:29,596
Ooh!

1124
02:03:47,493 --> 02:03:51,523
Miss Leonard! I can't believe it.
I'm Lou Presti, Eddie's manager.

1125
02:03:51,623 --> 02:03:55,921
Eddie, look who's here.
You won't believe it.

1126
02:03:59,714 --> 02:04:02,992
Well, the "late" Dixie Leonard.

1127
02:04:03,092 --> 02:04:06,746
- Hello, Eddie.
- Lou, that's five dollars you owe me.

1128
02:04:06,846 --> 02:04:08,957
- You got it.
- We had a little side bet.

1129
02:04:09,057 --> 02:04:13,419
He said "She's not coming. Forget about it.
She can't take the pressure."

1130
02:04:13,519 --> 02:04:16,005
I said "This one, you don't know."

1131
02:04:16,105 --> 02:04:20,009
Couldn't stay away, huh?
50 million people.

1132
02:04:20,109 --> 02:04:22,345
That's a Leica, isn't it?

1133
02:04:22,445 --> 02:04:26,057
Right. That's very good.
Are you a photographer, Miss Leonard?

1134
02:04:26,157 --> 02:04:29,269
No, but my husband was. May I see that?

1135
02:04:29,369 --> 02:04:31,521
Sure, sure.

1136
02:04:31,621 --> 02:04:36,526
- It's kinda heavy. Be careful.
- Yes, I see. Oh, my. Yes.

1137
02:04:36,626 --> 02:04:39,487
Don't touch that.
What the hell are you doin'?

1138
02:04:39,587 --> 02:04:44,325
- Those are all my shots!
- You want pictures of me, you ask me.

1139
02:04:44,425 --> 02:04:46,506
Lou, Lou.

1140
02:04:48,680 --> 02:04:51,624
- Clear the room.
- Please, would you mind, everybody?

1141
02:04:51,724 --> 02:04:55,394
Thank you very much.
Thank you very much.

1142
02:04:56,437 --> 02:04:58,173
Eddie...

1143
02:04:58,273 --> 02:05:00,354
Please, please.

1144
02:05:05,822 --> 02:05:08,892
So I see the years
have not mellowed you.

1145
02:05:08,992 --> 02:05:12,103
You want mellow,
buy yourself a Rudy Vallee record.

1146
02:05:12,203 --> 02:05:14,497
Funny.

1147
02:05:15,957 --> 02:05:19,235
Listen up. You cleared the room.
Now what?

1148
02:05:19,335 --> 02:05:25,241
- I don't know. I thought we could talk.
- I don't wanna talk. I wanna get ready.

1149
02:05:25,341 --> 02:05:27,869
Yeah, but I wanna talk.

1150
02:05:27,969 --> 02:05:30,050
About what?

1151
02:05:32,307 --> 02:05:36,878
How about sleep? Old people
are always talking about sleep.

1152
02:05:36,978 --> 02:05:42,091
- How you been sleeping lately, Eddie?
- Me? Like a baby. How about yourself?

1153
02:05:42,191 --> 02:05:44,273
Not so good.

1154
02:05:45,153 --> 02:05:48,640
I dream a lot. Then I wake up.

1155
02:05:48,740 --> 02:05:53,770
- You should try some warm milk.
- No. I like the dreams.

1156
02:05:53,870 --> 02:05:56,815
They're very enlightening.

1157
02:05:56,915 --> 02:05:59,901
Do you believe
in the unconscious, Eddie?

1158
02:06:00,001 --> 02:06:03,947
Personally, I prefer the conscious.
They pay more attention.

1159
02:06:04,047 --> 02:06:08,284
You still got your touch, Eddie. Even though
you do look like a goddamn turtle.

1160
02:06:08,384 --> 02:06:11,871
- Thank you. You look good yourself.
- Thanks. Mind if I smoke?

1161
02:06:11,971 --> 02:06:15,416
- I don't care if you burn.
- What a prince.

1162
02:06:15,516 --> 02:06:19,754
I had a doosey of a dream last night.
You were in it. You wanna hear it?

1163
02:06:19,854 --> 02:06:21,935
- No.
- It was fantastic.

1164
02:06:24,525 --> 02:06:28,388
I dreamed I died and went to heaven.

1165
02:06:28,488 --> 02:06:33,783
And the angels... the angels told me
I could ask God one question.

1166
02:06:35,078 --> 02:06:40,900
So I said... I was very excited...
I said "God, first you took Michael."

1167
02:06:41,000 --> 02:06:47,257
"I sort of understand that. He was wild.
He was reckless. Fantastic in bed."

1168
02:06:48,258 --> 02:06:50,339
"OK, so Michael."

1169
02:06:51,427 --> 02:06:56,082
"But then Danny too.
Why'd you take 'em both? I gotta know."

1170
02:06:56,182 --> 02:06:58,960
And you know what God said?

1171
02:06:59,060 --> 02:07:03,756
He said "It's the price."
I said "What for?"

1172
02:07:03,856 --> 02:07:09,387
He said "It's the price for the good times,
for the fun, for the laughs,

1173
02:07:09,487 --> 02:07:13,099
for the applause, for the career,
for you and Eddie."

1174
02:07:13,199 --> 02:07:15,268
"Think there's a free lunch, girlie?"

1175
02:07:15,368 --> 02:07:20,231
He talked like he was from the William Morris
office. In fact, that's who I think he is.

1176
02:07:20,331 --> 02:07:23,109
Yeah. So now you're through?

1177
02:07:23,209 --> 02:07:25,290
No.

1178
02:07:26,212 --> 02:07:28,625
We did it.

1179
02:07:29,716 --> 02:07:32,212
We put a uniform on him.

1180
02:07:34,012 --> 02:07:38,082
- Don't do this.
- He loved us and we put him in the ground.

1181
02:07:38,182 --> 02:07:39,250
All right.

1182
02:07:39,350 --> 02:07:43,338
It's 25 years. I can't go on like this.

1183
02:07:43,438 --> 02:07:45,924
I need you. I can't do it alone.

1184
02:07:46,024 --> 02:07:49,010
You listen to me, you crazy bitch!

1185
02:07:49,110 --> 02:07:51,221
I never killed nobody!

1186
02:07:51,321 --> 02:07:55,240
I never started the wars.
I'm not a fucking general!

1187
02:07:57,869 --> 02:08:00,365
I'm a song-and-dance man.

1188
02:08:03,416 --> 02:08:07,529
We went out there and we made 'em forget
for a couple of hours.

1189
02:08:07,629 --> 02:08:11,616
- It's not that simple.
- I'm proud of what we done, Dixie.

1190
02:08:11,716 --> 02:08:18,164
I'm proud of every minute.
I'm proud of every show. It was an honour.

1191
02:08:18,264 --> 02:08:20,792
- A sacred honour.
- Dixie and Eddie, places,

1192
02:08:20,892 --> 02:08:22,973
Dixie...

1193
02:08:24,270 --> 02:08:26,766
I know he died.

1194
02:08:28,191 --> 02:08:31,511
Him and a million others.
Why don't you mourn for them?

1195
02:08:31,611 --> 02:08:33,972
- I do.
- Well, so do I.

1196
02:08:34,072 --> 02:08:38,977
So do I! But you pick yourself up. You don't
waste your life and chew on this thing!

1197
02:08:39,077 --> 02:08:43,064
I didn't waste my life.
I made something of my life.

1198
02:08:43,164 --> 02:08:47,444
I gave birth to him.
I nursed him. I sang him to sleep.

1199
02:08:47,544 --> 02:08:51,677
And they massacred him.
For what? For honour!

1200
02:08:53,591 --> 02:08:56,550
Fuck honour! I want my son back!

1201
02:09:15,405 --> 02:09:17,486
I don't need this.

1202
02:09:22,996 --> 02:09:25,077
I don't need you.

1203
02:09:27,667 --> 02:09:29,903
I don't need anybody.

1204
02:09:30,003 --> 02:09:32,084
Go on, you old fraud.

1205
02:09:33,590 --> 02:09:36,409
Get your medal.

1206
02:09:36,509 --> 02:09:38,970
I hope it was worth it.

1207
02:09:44,559 --> 02:09:48,713
..and, certainly,
none more distinctly American

1208
02:09:48,813 --> 02:09:52,759
than the two people
we honour here tonight.

1209
02:09:52,859 --> 02:09:58,598
On behalf of the president,
it is my great pleasure

1210
02:09:58,698 --> 02:10:04,854
to present the National Medal of the Arts
to Eddie Sparks and Dixie Leonard.

1211
02:10:08,208 --> 02:10:11,569
Where is she?
Anybody have any idea where she is?

1212
02:10:11,669 --> 02:10:15,031
Take one and cover it. We're on one.

1213
02:10:15,131 --> 02:10:17,461
Three, swing round
and get some audience.

1214
02:10:59,659 --> 02:11:00,827
Bravo!

1215
02:11:06,808 --> 02:11:09,814
I should do this well at my funeral!

1216
02:11:14,023 --> 02:11:16,104
Seriously...

1217
02:11:18,528 --> 02:11:20,609
This is a great honour.

1218
02:11:22,407 --> 02:11:25,143
A great, great honour.

1219
02:11:25,243 --> 02:11:28,563
And Dixie, she couldn't be
with us tonight.

1220
02:11:28,663 --> 02:11:31,733
She's a little under the weather.

1221
02:11:31,833 --> 02:11:36,749
But I know she's watching.
So hang in there, honey. We love you.

1222
02:11:41,926 --> 02:11:46,456
We both want you to know
that we share this honour

1223
02:11:46,556 --> 02:11:52,212
with all the young Americans
who laid down their lives

1224
02:11:52,312 --> 02:11:55,899
for the greatest country
in all the world.

1225
02:12:06,117 --> 02:12:08,613
On the beaches of Normandy...

1226
02:12:09,996 --> 02:12:12,077
the Philippines...

1227
02:12:13,458 --> 02:12:15,539
Korea...

1228
02:12:16,169 --> 02:12:18,250
Vietnam...

1229
02:12:29,515 --> 02:12:33,304
Come on. Eddie, what? Let's go.
Stand by with a commercial.

1230
02:12:35,355 --> 02:12:37,436
Vietnam...

1231
02:12:40,360 --> 02:12:42,441
Vietnam...

1232
02:12:46,532 --> 02:12:50,203
A small... A small fire base on...

1233
02:12:56,459 --> 02:12:59,963
Christmas Day, 1969.

1234
02:13:04,300 --> 02:13:06,381
They...

1235
02:13:11,808 --> 02:13:14,933
They just came at us out of the sun.

1236
02:13:21,192 --> 02:13:24,696
And we lost our boy.

1237
02:13:32,120 --> 02:13:34,616
To tell you the truth, I...

1238
02:13:37,000 --> 02:13:39,496
I haven't been sleeping so good,

1239
02:13:42,338 --> 02:13:44,799
Not so good,

1240
02:13:47,343 --> 02:13:51,891
Because I loved him
like he was my own son.

1241
02:13:56,144 --> 02:13:59,767
I loved him very, very much,

1242
02:14:02,901 --> 02:14:04,982
Danny... I...

1243
02:14:24,422 --> 02:14:27,298
Here she is. I need the spots on her.

1244
02:14:43,358 --> 02:14:45,439
Oh, how great!

1245
02:14:53,826 --> 02:14:56,521
Pipe down, pipe down, will you?

1246
02:15:04,546 --> 02:15:06,627
You know, when I...

1247
02:15:07,507 --> 02:15:10,869
When I first met him, he was nothing.

1248
02:15:11,469 --> 02:15:13,246
Doing it single.

1249
02:15:13,346 --> 02:15:15,427
Bad suit.

1250
02:15:16,599 --> 02:15:19,878
Impersonations, song parodies.

1251
02:15:19,978 --> 02:15:22,297
Terrible.

1252
02:15:22,397 --> 02:15:28,136
But I saw some potential there
and I took him under my wing,

1253
02:15:28,236 --> 02:15:31,181
and I taught him the business.

1254
02:15:31,281 --> 02:15:36,363
I taught him the moves,
the songs, the timing.

1255
02:15:37,537 --> 02:15:41,789
I even taught him
how to impersonate a human being.

1256
02:15:49,340 --> 02:15:51,493
Thank you.

1257
02:15:51,593 --> 02:15:53,674
You're very welcome.

1258
02:15:57,807 --> 02:15:59,888
You know...

1259
02:16:01,227 --> 02:16:04,589
for an old broad,
you're still pretty sexy.

1260
02:16:13,197 --> 02:16:15,279
How would you know?

1261
02:16:16,242 --> 02:16:19,367
Well, I think I'm getting excited.

1262
02:16:22,749 --> 02:16:25,459
Let me know when you're sure.

1263
02:16:27,921 --> 02:16:32,575
Hey, Dixie, they gave me
a big suite upstairs.

1264
02:16:32,675 --> 02:16:33,868
- Really?
- Yeah.

1265
02:16:33,968 --> 02:16:36,725
And I got a big king-size bed.

1266
02:16:39,641 --> 02:16:43,128
- You wanna lie down, Eddie?
- Is that an offer?

1267
02:16:43,228 --> 02:16:45,355
It's a recommendation.

1268
02:16:51,319 --> 02:16:56,349
Look at this. I'm 91 years old.
50 years I've been waiting for this chance.

1269
02:16:56,449 --> 02:16:59,769
- Dixie, please let's go upstairs.
- What, to your room?

1270
02:16:59,869 --> 02:17:02,689
- Yeah.
- Ohh!

1271
02:17:02,789 --> 02:17:05,795
- And then we get undressed?
- Yeah.

1272
02:17:06,668 --> 02:17:09,590
- And then we get into bed?
- Yeah.

1273
02:17:10,547 --> 02:17:12,628
And then what?

1274
02:17:23,268 --> 02:17:25,396
Maybe we'd better dance.

1275
02:17:27,272 --> 02:17:30,091
Thank goodness she showed up.
There is a Santa Claus!

1276
02:17:30,191 --> 02:17:32,604
Wonderful. Stand by, music.

1277
02:17:33,653 --> 02:17:36,556
I'm coming, sweetheart. Are you ready?

1278
02:17:36,656 --> 02:17:40,059
- Wait. I gotta find my feet.
- They're there. Trust me.

1279
02:17:40,159 --> 02:17:42,896
- You ready now?
- Don't hurt yourself.

1280
02:17:42,996 --> 02:17:45,356
Don't worry. And five, six...